


This is a Red Square

by blackmatcha



Category: NCT (Band), SM Rookies
Genre: Fluff and Humor, M/M, Slice of Life, a bit of angst, brother!taeten, brother!yukjohn (?), this is yukten fic, with onesided!johnten
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-02-12 16:11:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12963210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackmatcha/pseuds/blackmatcha
Summary: Ten always thinks his life is dull, just black and white. That is until someone or some people? come to make his life colorful.





	1. The Beginning

Today’s weather was good. It was not too hot and not too cold, just perfect cloudy day with less sun visible. Clearly the idea of hanging out at the nearby park while eating ice cream or sitting on one of the benches sounded tempting. Most of the citizens loved to spend their afternoon at the public park to relieve their stress from school or work. People usually just chilled there and enjoyed the gentle wind, waiting until the sky turned shade of oranges but not for this boy with jet black hair who had been staring nervously at his phone.

_Mom is calling_

The boy gulped and slid the screen to answer the phone call.

“Ten, where are you now?”

His mother didn’t even bother to greet him but Ten was perfectly aware why his mother did that.

“I-I am at park near the station.”

“What are you doing there? Go home now! You should stop playing around if you want to get into good high school!”

Ten flinched and backed the phone away from his ear when his mother started nagging him. As if he had time to fool around... study, study and study was what he always did. He even went to cram school on weekend just because his mother said so. Ten didn’t even have time to hang out with his friends, not if he had any to be honest. All he wanted to do today was going to park after school just because the weather looked nice. He missed spending his time outside to enjoy the fresh air. The teenager knew he would be late to come home but he _really_ needed a break from studying.

“Okay, I will go back now.” Ten mumbled. There was no point of arguing back with her.

“Aish, you should be like your brother. He always listens to me and guess what? He got accepted in one of the most prestigious university in Korea!”

As he predicted his mother mentioned his older brother. His perfect older brother that everyone seemed to love better than him including his parents. His brother, Taeyong was smart, outgoing and on top of that, was good looking. He was the definition of perfection. Unlike his brother, Ten wasn’t really outgoing since he was shy around people. Unlike his brother who got all the good genes, he looked average at best. Plain looking with straight black hair and small eyes. His classmates and even teachers often praised him that he was smart because he was always in top three during exams but then his brother was smarter than him. It was as if no matter what, Taeyong would always be better than him. Even his mother thought so, he was never good enough to her because his brother’s existence.

“Sorry Mom.”

The line went dead and Ten stared at his phone screen with blank expression. He was used to get compared with his brother but it didn’t mean that he wasn’t feeling hurt or sad. It was the worst feeling ever to be compared with his perfect brother. It made him feel useless and not appreciated. He sighed and got up from his seat. Going towards the station, slightly running because he wanted to get home quickly before his mother blew up but that was bad decision when he accidentally bumped into someone who held a cup of steaming hot coffee. The liquid sloshed around and spilled onto Ten’s right hand. His hand went red instantly and he cringed when the pain started to register his mind.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” The man widened his eyes in horror. He tossed the almost empty cup away and reached Ten’s hand in hurry to inspect the injury. “Come here!”

The man pulled his arms and Ten followed quietly in confusion. Where he was going to take him? Would he beat him because he spilled his coffee? Ten started to feel panicky since the man was much taller and bigger than him. He wasn’t a fighter and he was sure the man would knock him down in one punch without even trying hard.

“Ex-excuse me… I am sorry for spilling your coffee. I will buy you new one for sure or two if you want more. I am not good at fighting too so I hope you can give me some mercy and-“

He stopped his rambling when they stopped in front of convenience store who located near the park. The man told him to wait and he hesitantly nodded as he saw him stepped inside the store. Why were they here? Two minutes later the man appeared with a small plastic bag and he pulled him (again) to sit on the empty chair outside of the store. He took out the stuff from the plastic bag. A cold mineral water and small tube of what seemed looking like an ointment.

“I am sorry, it must be painful.” The man poured the water over Ten’s hand and the teenager couldn’t help to sigh in relief when the cold water touched his slightly red skin. He actually forgot that his hand got scalded by the hot coffee.

“It’s okay. It was my fault that I didn’t see my surrounding. I should be the one who apologize. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry. I can always buy another cup but you can’t buy another hand, can you?” The man smiled playfully.

Ten just noticed how attractive this man was. He cleared his throat when the man applied something cold on his hand—it was an ointment—and tried to not blush because their close proximity. He tried to shift his attention to something else and noticed the man’s belonging on the table. There were several design books and he spotted a familiar looking book. It was a sketchbook, he had one at his home and unconsciously, his other hand—the one that the man wasn’t holding—reached to touch it.

“You like to draw too?”

Ten got startled when the man suddenly spoke without looking at him. He was still busy applying the ointment. Ten was flushing in embarrassment and drew his hand away from the sketchbook.

“Sorry.” Ten mumbled and decided to stare at his injured hand instead. His hands looked so small compared to this man’s hand. Sometime his brother teased him about his small hands and it shot his self-confidence to the ground.

“It’s okay.” The man looked up. He just finished applying the ointment. “You can see it if you want.”

Before Ten rejected the tempting offer, the man already reached his sketchbook and flipped it open. He turned it upside down to show his drawing. Shyly, Ten scooted closer to see and gaped in amazement when he saw the drawings. Sketches of people, buildings even random stuff like flower pot on each page. The man was sure very talented artist.

“Woah, it’s so good.” Ten ran his fingers on the drawing of cherry blossom tree. It was already colored with shade of pink.

“Thank you. I am still improving anyway.” The man grinned. “Oh anyway, I am Johnny!”

“I am.. I am Ten.” Ten didn’t know what to say anymore. He was too shy to speak more because he was never good at talking with new people. There was a short awkward silence and Ten started feeling uncomfortable which Johnny noticed so the man decided to open the conversation.

“So you like to draw too?”

“Oh.. kind of… I used to draw but I stopped since…” Ten paused because he couldn’t remember when he stopped drawing. It had been so long. “I have to study for high school entrance test.”

Johnny widened his eyes and scanned his uniform. It seemed like he just realized that Ten was still a middle school student.

“Woah, you are still very young. I am a first year in Seoul Art University! You are a like a baby to me.”

Seoul Art University was Ten’s dream university. It had the best courses and lecturers when it came to art major. He actually planned to apply there when he finished high school later because he enjoyed drawing.

“I would like to apply there in the future. If.. if there is a chance…”

This was the first time Ten told someone about his future plan, not even his parents and brother knew about it. Taeyong went to Seoul National University which was the main university while Johnny’s university was the branch who specialized in art . His mother insisted Ten to follow his brother to be a doctor but he wasn’t ready to tell her yet that he wanted to do art instead. Maybe later… since his journey to be university student was still long way to go.

“So you are indeed interested with drawing.” Johnny hummed.“If you like to draw, you shouldn’t stop drawing. If you genuinely like it, it won’t be a burden to you, even when you have to study. There is always time to do what you like! ”

Somehow, Johnny’s words managed to lift up his spirit to draw again. He stopped drawing when his mother told him that it was useless activity that would bring him nowhere. She wanted him to focus to study instead. The reason why he liked to draw was because he could express his feeling through the drawing, beside that was the only thing that he did better than Taeyong.

“But my drawing isn’t that good.” Ten’s cheeks went pink. He didn’t think that he was good enough to get into his dream university. Compared to Johnny’s sketch, his drawing was completely rubbish.

“Ey~ Don’t be like that. There’s always room for improvement. I couldn’t even draw circle properly when I was your age.” Johnny laughed and Ten couldn’t help to smile.

There was a vibration in his blazer’s pocket and fear slowly crept into Ten’s mind. He forgot that he had to go back home quickly and he was sure that his mother would nagging him nonstop soon. He immediately pulled out his phone and turned it off, earning confused stare from Johnny.

“I… I have to leave now. My mother is calling. Sorry and thank you.. uh.. Johnny-ssi.” Ten got up from his seat and gripped the strap of his bag tightly. He would run to the station for sure.

“Oh.. don’t be too formal. You can call me with Hyung. Sorry again for hurting your hand especially now I know that you like to draw. Hand is very important tool for an artist.”

Ten was about to walk away but he halted his step. “Can I… can I meet you again?”

“Huh?”

Ten was flushing red when he realized what he just said. That was really embarrassing but he couldn’t help but to ask since he wanted to meet the man again. He wasn’t sure it was because he attracted to the talent or the person.

“I mean… I like your drawing and I would like to know more about art… but you don’t have to meet me again.. I-I was just asking, really.. I-“ He couldn’t stop himself from rambling non sense. It was his habit to ramble coherently when he got flustered or nervous.

“Hey, calm down.” Johnny chuckled. “I always sit near the fountain in the park every Friday around 3 or 4 in the afternoon to get inspiration for drawing. You are very welcome to join me.”

“O…Oh. I see.. T-thank you, uh.. Hyung.”

Johnny ruffled Ten’s hair, making the teenager blushed different shade of reds.

“See you next Friday, then?”

They bid their goodbye and Ten rushed towards the station with smile on his face. He was excited to meet the man again. When he reached home, as expected his mother scolded the hell out of him but he didn’t mind. He didn’t talk back and only listened to her because he wanted it to be over quickly. He wanted to take out his forgotten sketchbook from his drawer and started drawing again. It had been a while that he was feeling excited over something again.

_“If you like to draw, you shouldn’t stop drawing.”_

He would never stop. Not even his mother and high school entrance test could stop him.

 

>><< 

 

Ten went to the park every Friday after school just to meet Johnny again. The first meeting after the incident was quite awkward but it didn’t take long until they got comfortable with each other’s presence. Ten brought his sketchbook and Johnny insisted to see. He was hesitant before because his drawing was bad and he expected the older to laugh or insult the drawing but instead, Johnny praised his skill and told him that he got a raw talent. All he had to do was practice to polish his skill. For the first time in his life, Ten felt like he had passion to do something and it was because he wanted to do it, not because someone forced him to.

“The outline of your drawing is quite rough but you can make smooth drawing with certain pencil. Don’t you have special pencil to draw?”

It was another Friday at the park with Johnny and he had been teaching Ten about drawing technique since the first meeting. Ten was aware about what Johnny meant, all this time he always used a standard mechanical pencil for drawing which didn’t bring the best result on the paper. He always wanted to have good pencil set for drawing but it was too expensive for a middle school student like him. He never tried to ask his mother too since he knew that she would ask why he needed it. Ten never told anyone about his meeting with Johnny. He only told his mother that every Friday he had extra class because the exam was coming. Fortunately his mother believed him and he was free to meet Johnny ever since then.

“I don’t have— I can’t afford it.” Ten’s cheeks went pink. He was ashamed that he was passionate with drawing but he didn’t have the right equipment. Maybe Johnny would think that he wasn’t serious enough and decided that he was just another waste of his time.

Johnny stared at Ten with a unreadable expression that it made him feel nervous. The older man then grabbed his own bag and for second Ten thought he was going to leave but instead, he rummaged the pocket of his bag and pulled out a pencil case.

“This.” Johnny held the pencil case closer to Ten’s face. “My pencil set for drawing. And I am going to give this to you.”

The teenager gasped and shook his head in hurry. “No.. Hyung.. I don’t mean to ask for one. I mean.. It’s… it’s yours. I can’t accept it.”

“Ten, accept this. You deserve to have a good set of drawing pencil and besides I am going to buy new one this week so I won’t use them anymore.” Johnny grinned and reached Ten’s left hand. He placed the pencil case on Ten’s palm.

That night, Ten was too excited with his new pencil set from Johnny. He even skipped dinner just to try his pencil and was feeling happy when he could draw the line smoothly. The difference was really visible between cheap mechanical pencil and expensive drawing pencil. His mother didn’t even bother to ask if Ten wanted to eat or not since she thought he was busy studying.

Several weeks passed and Ten became closer to Johnny. It took him so long but then he realized that he actually had a tiny crush over the older. He would just keep this feeling to himself since there was no way that the man saw him as lover. To Johnny, Ten was just a kid since he treated him like younger brother. But Ten’s couldn’t help to blush or stop his heart from beating too fast when Johnny smiled at him. He was indeed handsome and charming with boyish smile, pretty eyes, tall nose and muscular body. Ten wondered if Johnny had girlfriend or not because with that face and personality, the man was for sure would be popular among the women.

When the exams week came and he had to take high school entrance test , Ten stopped going to park since his mother was getting suspicious. He informed Johnny before and the man said it was okay because Ten would always find him here if he needed him. That was when he realized that he fell too deep for Johnny because he missed him a lot and longed to see him. His silly crush was growing into something else that he didn’t dare to name. Their age gap was quite big, 4 years. Johnny had same age with his brother and never once he imagined in his wildest dream that he would fall for older man. He didn’t even think that he could fall in love since he didn’t have many friends due his awkward social skill.

It was finally the time to visit Johnny at the park again. He was happy that he got accepted into the high school that he (his mother) wanted and she let him to go outside on Friday (he told her that he wanted to go to bookstore). The graduation would be next week and students weren’t required to come to school until then, some may went just to play with their friends but again, Ten didn’t really have close friends in school. They were just schoolmates to him.

 Today he was wearing casual clothes, not the middle school uniform and he hoped he looked mature enough. He didn’t want Johnny to see him as kid. He gripped on the straps of his bag tighter when he saw a familiar figure sitting near the fountain. It was their favorite spot for drawing because it wasn’t too crowded. They would draw anything from people to building. It was fun, correction— it was always fun because he was with Johnny.

“Hyung, I am back.” Ten greeted Johnny and the man looked up. A cute smile appeared on his face, making Ten swooned inwardly.

“Hello Ten. Finished with the exams already, right? Did you get accepted to your first choice of school?”

Ten sat down beside Johnny. “Yes, I did. I got accepted in Sejong High School, it’s only one station away from here.”

The older looked surprised for a moment then chuckled. Ten was confused with his reaction and it was visible on his face so Johnny decided to explain.

“What a coincidence. My younger brother got accepted in the same high school with you.”

This was the first time Ten ever heard that Johnny had younger brother. Well, it wasn’t like they talked about personal life either since he never mentioned his older brother so it wasn’t really a big deal to him but still, he was curious.

“You have younger brother? He’s same age with me?”

“He’s my half brother, same mother but different father. Yes, he’s same age with you but he is soooo different. He didn’t act like his age and not cute at all.” Johnny huffed in annoyance.

His heart clenched a little. That was obvious that Johnny only saw him as younger brother. He was feeling a little down but he didn’t want to show it so he decided to divert his attention by asking about his younger brother.

“I see… So Hyung’s brother is going to same school with me then?”

“Yes! You guys may end up in same class too, who knows!” Johnny laughed. “He isn’t really good at making friend so maybe if you meet him, you can befriend him?”

Ten laughed awkwardly. Johnny expected too much of him. He was also not good at making friend and very shy around new people so it was actually bad idea to ask him.

“Uh.. I am not good at making friend too, Hyung..”

“Well then two negative will be positive, right? Maybe both of you will get along because of that.”

Honestly, Ten wanted to say he couldn’t do it because he might end up scaring his younger brother. People always misunderstood him as weird because he was too shy to speak. It didn’t help too that he wasn’t good at expressing himself. But seeing the hopeful eyes from Johnny really melted his heart and he ended up nodding his head.

“Good! His name is Yukhei. He’s actually nice and playful kid but people often mistake his playful action as rude. I am sure you guys will get along.”

That really sounded like the opposite of Ten’s personality but he already agreed to befriend with Johnny’s younger brother so he should just try first. He couldn’t be bad kid, right? Because Johnny was really nice and gentle, he believed that the younger brother wouldn’t be that different with the older.

What was his name again? Yukhei?

 


	2. The Meeting

The first day of high school would be better if Ten didn’t have to start his day with his parents talking about how perfect his brother was. They were all eating breakfast together in the dining room, even his father who was always out of the town for business was there. If his mother kept comparing Ten to his brother, his father was different case. He always pretended that he only had one son and never bothered to talk with him. Ten didn’t even remember when the last time he talked with his father.

“You should do well and be top scorer since your Hyung was the best student in your school before. Don’t embarrass our family okay?”

Ten bit on his toast and just listened to his mother in silent. He knew perfectly that his brother was a former student of his current high school. Taeyong was the best student and president of student council too, popular one if he could add. The school hadn’t even started yet and his mother already told him to not embarrass their family. As if he ever did it… people wouldn’t even know that he was Taeyong’s brother because they didn’t look alike.

“Mom the school hasn’t even started yet. Calm down.” Taeyong muttered sleepily.

“Ah, just a little warning so he will be cautious, Taeyong-ah.” His mother poured the milk into Taeyong’s glass. “Did you sleep late last night? You even skipped dinner.”

“Yeah. I had a lot of assignment to finish.”

“Take care of yourself better or you will get sick.” The father finally spoke after he finished his toast.

Ten suddenly felt out of place. It was as if he didn’t belong to this family. He also skipped dinner last night because he was busy drawing but his parents didn’t even care about him. All they care was he had to be as good as his brother or else he would be a disgrace to their perfect family. He decided to get up from his seat, not finishing his toast because he didn’t want to be treated like an outsider longer.

“Are you leaving?” His mother shifted his gaze at him.

“Yeah. It’s better to be early for freshman ceremony.”

Taeyong also got up from his seat. “Hyung will drive you to school.”

“But Taeyong-ah, you look tired. Better take a nap before your class, Ten can take the subway as usual.”

“Yeah, I will take the subway as usual.”

With that, Ten left the dining room without looking back. He didn’t want to argue with his mother who clearly only got worried over his brother. That was weird of Taeyong to offer driving him to school. They weren’t that close as brothers and only talked when it was necessary. He didn’t have grudge against his Taeyong but somehow he couldn’t help to feel jealous when his parents treated him better.

Ten finally arrived at his new high school. He was nervous yet excited at the same time. This would be a new chapter of his life and he probably would have real friends here. People often said high school life was the best part of their life. He adjusted his dark blue tie and smoothen his blazer then walked further to check around the school. As expected of famous prestigious school, it was big and beautiful with small flower garden near the soccer field. There was huge fountain in the middle of the garden and the sound of flowing water made him calm.

Ten wandered too far that he didn’t realize the freshman ceremony was about to start. He checked his wristwatch before rushed to find the assembly room. He didn’t want to be late for freshman ceremony and the last thing he wanted to do now was embarrassing his family.

“Ex-excuse me, do you know where is the assembly room?” Ten built up the courage to ask a male student who was sitting on the bench near the soccer field since the school was too big. The student didn’t answer him so Ten tapped his shoulder lightly. He turned around as he took off the earphones. Oh… that was why he didn’t reply… the student didn’t hear him.

“What?” The student looked irritated because Ten disturbed him. He had wavy brown hair that looked soft and his skin was slightly tanned. Handsome. That was what Ten thought the moment this man faced him.

“Uh…” Ten tried to string some words because he felt nervous all of sudden. A pair of brown eyes stared at him with such intensity and Ten wondered if he was going to melt in any second. “Do you—do you know where is the assembly room? I-I am a freshman and the ceremony will start very soon.”

“Holy shit!” The male student suddenly got up from his seat, startling Ten. “I forgot about the ceremony!”

Without saying anything the brown haired student ran towards his left direction. Ten didn’t think twice and ran after him. It seemed like the he was also a freshman who forgot about the ceremony. They both reached the assembly room on time and panted in exhaustion. Ten wasn’t athletic person so running all of sudden like that really took a toll of his body. He wobbled around to find empty chair to sit and plopped down when he found one. The ceremony started and he sighed in relief because he made it.

When the ceremony had ended, the teachers ushered the student to go to their own class. All first year classes were located at the second floor and Ten immediately took out the paper from his bag to check which class he belonged too.

**Chittaphon L : 1 A**

He joined the masses of freshmen who climbed up the stairs as they chatted with each other. Ten was too shy to talk to new people so he just kept silent as he looked on the ground, avoiding to make eye contact with the others. He finally reached his class, 1 A. The class was already filled with some students and Ten stepped inside nervously. He tried to find empty chairs and he found empty spot in second row. When he was about to sit, the girl next to the empty chair stopped him.

“Sorry, this chair is for my friend.”

Ten awkwardly nodded. Everytime he wanted to sit, some of students would say that this chair was for their friend. After a while he spotted two available seats at the very back of the class. During middle school, backseats in his class were for the delinquents and lazy students. He couldn’t help to sigh and went to sit on one of the empty seat. It wasn’t like he had any choice.

He was busy arranging his bag when he felt someone sitting next to his seat. Ten looked up and was very surprised to see it was the student with brown hair before. He was about to greet him but before he could do, the homeroom teacher came. Her name was Mrs. Jung and she looked quite young probably in her late 20s. She greeted the class and asked the students to introduce themselves one by one.

Ten started to feel panic because he was so bad at introducing himself especially when he had to speak with all eyes on him. They started to introduce themselves and some female students even told everyone that they were single which caused laughter while Ten didn’t even have courage to say his name loudly. When it was his time to speak, he slowly got up from his seat. Everyone was staring at him and he gulped nervously.

“Uh.. My name is Chittaphon but you can call me with Ten. I-I like to draw.” Then he went silent. Mrs. Jung asked if Ten wanted to say more words but he shook his head. It was indeed the shortest introduction but he just didn’t know what to say. He could hear some male students snickered and he immediately looked down, face was flushing in embarrassment.

The sound of chair screeched against the floor drew his attention. The student with brown hair was standing to introduce himself. Some girls were giggling as they whispered to each other. Ten knew why. It was because the man beside him was good looking with tanned skin and boyish smile.

“My name is Yukhei. I love to listen to rock music and my favorite subject is math. Any question?”

To say Ten was shocked was understatement. So the boy with brown hair beside him was Yukhei?! He was Johnny’s younger brother then? Or it was just same name? He couldn’t believe it at first but the more he stared at Yukhei, the more he saw the resemblance of Johnny in him. They had similar brown hair and boyish smile.

“Are you single?” A girl with ponytail asked boldly.

“Depends… you want me to?” Yukhei smirked, drawing a squeal and laughter from the girls in class.

Ten frowned. Didn’t Johnny say that Yukhei wasn’t good at making friend? It didn’t seem like that since he could catch the class’ attention in flash. Why would Johnny worry about him though?

Yukhei went back to sit and the class started. They didn’t really study because Mrs. Jung only explained about the curriculum and what they were going to learn. It felt like the time had passed very fast because the lunch break arrived already. Some students went out to eat in the cafeteria while some stayed in class to chat with each other. The girl with ponytail—Ten though her name was Joohyun or was it Hyunjoo?—walked towards Yukhei’s seat.

“Hey, Yukhei! Do you want to go to cafeteria together?” She asked with a smile on her face.

“No.”

“Eh, why not?” Her smile faltered.

“I don’t like clingy person like you.”

She was taken aback with Yukhei’s words and was too embarrassed to say anything; she turned around to leave the class with red face. Ten was also shocked to witness how rude Yukhei was. The girl was being friendly to him! Beside if he really didn’t want to go, he didn’t have to say those rude words. Poor girl. He was really annoyed but didn’t dare to say something so he only ended up glaring at Yukhei.

Yukhei felt the glare so he averted his gaze to Ten, he raised an eyebrow and scanned him from head to toe.

“Hey ugly, what are you looking at?”

He couldn’t believe it. He knew that he wasn’t good looking but he was sure he wasn’t ugly. Well, he didn’t even know ugly person either because by his standard no one was ugly. However, it stung to think that by Yukhei’s standard he was considered as ugly.  Ten was burning inside, furious about how rude this man beside him. He wanted to burst in anger but again, he was too chicken to snap at him. Ten ended up taking out his sketchbook from his bag. Maybe drawing would make him feel calmer.

“Oy, are you ignoring me?”

Ten’s left eye twitched in irritation. He was torn to talk back to Yukhei or just ignore him. He turned his head to the brown haired man and opened his mouth but then closed it again. The brown eyes were staring at him intently  and his courage vanished instantly. He decided to go back with his sketchbook.

“If you want to say something, say it.” Yukhei said with annoyed tone. “You are a man, right? Don’t be a coward.”

Within second, Ten’s face went red. Not because he was shy, it was because he was angry. Johnny’s words echoed in his head.

_“He isn’t really good at making friend”_

He could see why. Of course Yukhei wasn’t good at making friend, it seemed like he was specialized at making enemy instead.

_“He’s actually nice and playful kid but people often mistake his playful action as rude”_

Which side was playful? As much as Ten loved Johnny, he really wanted to smack his head upside down. Yukhei _was_ rude. And it wasn’t anyone’s mistake, it was him! HIM! If this was playful they he couldn’t imagine ‘rude’ version of Yukhei.

“Can’t believe that he is Johnny Hyung’s brother.” Ten mumbled but Yukhei heard perfectly it since he had been watching his action.

“Wait, you know my brother?”

“Y-you heard?”

“How did you know him?” Yukhei noticed the sketchbook on Ten’s desk and remembered that he mentioned about drawing before. He connected it with his brother and a knowing look crossed his face. “Drawing freaks.”

That offended Ten. The connotation of freak wasn’t good so it sounded like Yukhei mocked him.  He decided to draw instead of talking back, afraid if he would explode and throw rude words. But Yukhei didn’t stop and watched him interest that it bothered him.

“Can’t believe that Johnny Hyung has a nerd as friend.” Yukhei snorted in laughter.

Ten gripped his pencil tightly, trying to hold himself for not stabbing Yukhei with it. To think that he had to sit beside him for a whole year was a nightmare. From now, he would just ignore Yukhei’s existence and pretended that he wasn’t there. He wasn’t related to Johnny. He wasn’t real.

Easy, right?

 

** >><<  **

 

It wasn’t easy as he thought. Yukhei always annoyed the hell out of him. It was as if the tall man with brown hair found a new toy to play. He constantly taunted Ten by calling him nerd or ugly which he tried to ignore. Once or twice, Ten would snap at him and he would just pretend to get shock like,

“Oh, you can get angry too! New achievement unlocked!”

As if he wasn’t stressed out enough at home, school became unpleasant place for Ten. At home, his mother would constantly nag him to take extra class (to prepare for university entrance test) which he refused because he was still in his first year of high school for god’s sake!!! They ended up arguing and as usual she compared him to his brother again. It got settled when Taeyong suggested that Ten didn’t have to take extra class but he should be top scorer for every exams. That was actually challenging but when his mother said it was impossible, he finally agreed. He would prove his mother wrong.

Friday was finally coming and when the last bell rang, Ten excitedly walked towards his locker. He took his sketchbook out  and humming as he was ready to meet Johnny again and this time as high school student. The uniform made him looked a bit older so the age gap between them wouldn’t be that visible like before. He closed his locker with a smile on his face since he was thinking about Johnny.

“Why are you smiling like that?”

He dropped his sketchbook in shock when he saw Yukhei was standing right beside him, back leaned against the locker. He glared at the taller boy, cursing mentally over the fact that he was much taller than him before picked up his sketchbook on the floor. Yukhei only smirked in amusement but he was honestly curious why Ten was smiling like that. It was indeed a rare sight since usually he only spotted with a blank face or a glare (usually for him).

“Mind your own business.” Ten walked away from Yukhei. He wasn’t going to let Yukhei ruined his mood. At least he didn’t have to see him until Monday.

“You are going to meet my brother right? I am going too~” He said in a sing a song tone.

Those words made Ten stopped his step abruptly. How did he know? He turned around and narrowed his eyes at Yukhei who grinned mischievously at him. This didn’t look good.

“I asked Hyung. I still don’t believe that a person like you become Hyung’s friend. So I want to prove it with my own eyes.”

Ten’s ears went red and for a moment he wanted to walk towards Yukhei and hit him in the head with his sketchbook (it was quite big and thick) but he didn’t want to commit a murder. Not before meeting the older brother of this annoying boy. He took a deep breath and decided to ignore Yukhei. He rushed towards the station to catch the train, not looking back to check if Yukhei followed him or not. Ten wished that he didn’t but when Yukhei stepped inside the train and stood beside him, he just wanted him to vanish from this world.

They reached the park. Ten walked straight to the usual spot with Johnny. He could hear the sound of step following behind him. Yukhei really didn’t lie when he said he was going too. Ten said to himself mentally that it was okay because as long as he was with Johnny, everything would turn alright. He spotted the familiar figure near the fountain and approached the person.

“Johnny Hyung!”

The man looked up and showed his boyish smile at Ten. The older craned his neck to check someone beside Ten and widened his eyes.

“Woah, I can’t believe that both of you really became friends. I was surprised when Yukhei asked if I know you. World is indeed small, right?”

“Yeah Hyung.” Yukhei put his arm around Ten’s shoulder, pulling him closer. “We are very very best friend at school.”

Johnny looked at both of them dreamily as if he was touched with this fact. Ten forced a smile and held the urge to elbow Yukhei in the stomach. He wriggled his shoulder to shake off Yukhei’s arm and sit across Johnny, his usual spot. Carefully, he placed the sketchbook on the table and flipped it open. Yukhei casually sat beside him and Ten threw a glare at him, clearly not happy with this seating arrangement.

“Did you draw something new?” Johnny opened the conversation.

“Yes Hyung. I am learning of drawing a person now. I started with my teacher.” Ten showed a rough sketch of his history teacher, Mr. Lee who was standing in front of class.

“That’s good for a start.”

“Did you draw this during the lesson? So that was why you watched him intently. I thought you had a crush on him.” Yukhei blurted out.

“Were you staring at me during the lesson? Creep.” Ten scowled.

“You shouldn’t draw during the lesson, Ten. School is the priority, okay? If you don’t graduate from school then you can’t get into Seoul Art University.” Johnny disapproved his action, there was a hint of disappointment his voice which made Ten feel guilty.

“Sorry, Hyung.”

“You should pay attention during lesson. Tennie, like me.” Yukhei pats his back, staring at him with fake concern on his expression.

That was such bullshit because Yukhei usually slept or played with his phone during most of the lesson. Especially history since it was such a boring lesson. He really wanted to expose Yukhei but he didn’t dare to say any word.

“Okay. Now we can start our drawing time.” Johnny smiled which cheered Ten up a little. “Let’s try to make a sketch of person. As as start… do you want to make a sketch of Yukhei?”

NOOOOOOO. Ten wanted to shout it out loud especially when Yukhei made a very greasy pose all of sudden. He was about to voice his disagreement but Johnny was already back to his sketchbook.

“So, are you ready?” Yukhei propped his head up on one elbow, staring at Ten with a smirk.

There was this little monster inside Ten who wanted to flip the table and strangle Yukhei but he tried to gain his sanity back. He cleared his throat and picked up his sketchbook, flipping open the blank page. He glanced at Yukhei and started to make a sketch.

“Draw me good. If I look ugly I will sue you.”

“Hmm.” Ten ignored him and continued to make a sketch.

Yukhei noticed how Ten looked serious when he was drawing. Their eyes met several times and he didn’t look away like he always did when they were in class. It seemed like Ten was really confident and passionate when it came to drawing.

“Done.”

Johnny looked up and leaned forward to see his sketch. It took a full minute for Yukhei to realize that Ten had finished. He was too busy thinking how different Ten in school and Ten in front of him right now.

“Wow, this is good. Still rough but you can improve.” Johnny gave Ten a thumb up.

Before Ten could reply a thank you, Yukhei snatched the sketchbook from Johnny. He glared at the brown haired man. What was wrong with him? He was rude to everyone including his brother. How could they were related to each other? Johnny was clearly the angel while Yukhei was the devil.

“My nose is too small and flat. Do you think I can breathe through that kind of nose?”

Actually the sketch was good. Even if Yukhei didn’t understand art, he knew that Ten was indeed talented in drawing. For an amateur, Ten did really well but he didn’t have to say it out loud. Johnny already praised him so all he needed now was the opposite.

“Yukhei, you are awfully picky when you can’t even draw straight line.” Johnny raised an eyebrow.

Ten bit back a laughter as Yukhei’s face turned into sour expression. What a sweet revenge. That was good attack. More reason to love Johnny because he could tame Yukhei.

“Oh, he can’t draw straight line?” Ten didn’t know where this bravery was came but he wanted to piss Yukhei off.

“Yeah. He is very smart kid but not that good in art.” Johnny chuckled. “He has no sense of drawing.”

He laughed a bit too loud just to piss Yukhei off which was working because his big ears became red. Oh the taste of humiliation. However, he had to stop laughing when all of sudden Yukhei circled his arm around his neck and pulled him into his chest.

“Don’t worry Hyung. Ten will teach me how to draw, right?”

“WhAT” Ten’s voice was muffled since his face was flat against Yukhei’s chest.

“Oh that’s good idea. Help him in school, okay Tennie?”

After he finally could release himself from Yukhei’s deadly grip, Ten looked up and saw Johnny was staring at him with tinkling eyes. He suspected that Yukhei was always behaving well when his older brother was around so probably Johnny thought he was just misunderstood poor soul.

“Uh… okay.” He couldn’t say no to Johnny after all.

The brothers high five-ed and Ten sighed in defeat. Love needs a sacrifice after all, right? He was willing to teach 1000 Yukhei for Johnny. Not that he wanted 1000 Yukhei thought, he would go crazy if it happened.

“So Tennie, should I call you Seongsaenim or Mr. Lee?”

Ten rolled his eyes, one Yukhei was already a headache for sure.

 

 

 


	3. The Starting Point

Ten thought that high school life was going to be fun, but it had been a week and he still had no friends. His classmates didn’t even remember his name. He couldn’t blame anyone but himself though, because he didn’t put any effort to befriend anyone either. He was too shy and awkward just to greet them first. Some of his classmates were nice enough to greet him when they wanted to borrow an eraser or pen. But other than that, he didn’t have a friend to hang out or go to cafeteria together.

“Hey midget.”

And then there was Yukhei, who kept annoying him ever since first day of school. He didn’t know why the brown haired boy did that. Ten thought at least he would be nicer after the Friday meeting with his older brother but it was only his wishful thought, Yukhei was still a certified jerk. What surprised Ten was Yukhei also had no friends either. People in his class seemed to feel intimidated by his attitude but the difference was most of them thought it was cool and just looked like your typical bad-boy-with-handsome-face-attitude. ‘Don’t judge book by its cover’ phrase didn’t exist in this school. Although this was prestigious school with smart students, there were still closed minded and people who had prejudice around here. If you were good looking then you would get better prejudice, just like Yukhei.

“You shouldn’t draw during lesson.” Yukhei tilted his head to the side, a smirk plastered on his handsome face.

He glared at the brown haired boy next to him and went back to draw on his sketchbook. The biology teacher was currently standing in front of their class, explaining about the periodic table. It was honestly boring because Ten already learned it before in middle school so he decided that drawing would be more interesting. He had to do it secretly because he didn’t want get caught but unfortunately Yukhei noticed and decided to annoy him as usual.

“Shut up.” Ten gritted his teeth and glanced at the teacher, afraid that he would hear them.

Yukhei grinned and for a second, Ten thought he would expose him but instead he went back to scribble on his notes. He sighed in relief and went back to his sketchbook. Johnny told him to learn about drawing a person. It was quite hard but fun at the same time because he should make sure that the drawing was detailed and symmetrical. No one wanted to get a drawing of their face with off center-nose.

Apparently luck wasn’t really in Ten’s side because he accidentally dropped his eraser and it landed near Yukhei’s right foot.

Sensing something small hit against his foot, Yukhei looked down and then shifted his gaze at Ten. He raised an eyebrow and went back to his notes. Ten thought Yukhei would pick it up for him but he didn’t so he decided to stretch his left leg, trying to reach the eraser by the tip of his shoes. He wanted to roll the eraser to his side then he could bend down to pick it when it was closer. Too bad that his leg wasn’t long enough so he had a hard time to reach the damn eraser. It was close yet so far. Ten could feel sweat formed on his forehead. Almost got it, but…

BUGH!

He lost his balance and slipped down his chair, landing on the floor with butt first and creating loud noise which drew everyone’s attention in class including his teacher.

“Ten, what are you doing?”

If possible, Ten wanted to dig a deep hole and buried himself because he could feel that his face was getting hot because it was flushing out of embarrassment. He could hear snickers and giggles from the students. He glanced up at Yukhei who turned his back on him. The brown haired boy’s body was slightly shaking, seeming like he tried to suppress his laughter. Ten’s face went redder if it was possible. This whole situation was really humiliating. He slowly got up and apologized to his teacher.

“So-sorry Sir. I…” Ten tried to find reasonable excuse but he couldn’t think any. “I slipped from my chair.”

The class burst into laughter. His teacher only shook his head and told him to pay more attention during his lesson. Ten nodded and went back to his seat. He didn’t dare to speak any word because he was afraid that he would cry if he opened his mouth. He decided to pay attention now and listened to the lesson. His face felt really hot and he was sure it was still red. Unfortunately he didn’t realize that the brown haired boy next to him had been staring at him with amused expression. There was a soft smile on his face, not the usual cocky smile or annoying smirk.

 

** >><< **

“I am home.”

Ten took off his shoes and about to walk towards his room when his mother’s voice stopped him.

“Ten, I registered you for English course after school. You will start on Friday.”

Usually he wouldn’t complain because his mother always did this—registering without asking his consent—but this time was different. Friday was his only day to meet Johnny and no one could stop him to meet the love of his life. Not even his mother.

“I can’t. Not on Friday.”

His mother looked surprised. Maybe because this was the first time Ten talked back to her.  “Why?”

“I.. I have something to do on Friday.”

“Something to do? What is it? You can’t play around, Ten. You-“

The front door swung open and Taeyong stepped inside. It was a rare sight to see him home early because usually he would stay in university to finish his project or hang out with his friends. He still didn’t understand why his mother was less strict to Taeyong. She was being unfair, really.

“I don’t play around, Mom.” Ten paused and glanced at Taeyong who was busy taking off his shoes. “I joined Science club for extra score. It’s obligation for first year student.”

“Oh, I see. Okay, I will try to arrange it to another day then.” His mother sounded convinced. “My Taeyongie, you are home early. Have you eaten?”

That was a cue for Ten to leave. Of course she would only care about his perfect son. She didn’t even bother to ask if he had eaten or not. He rushed towards his room and closed the door, sighing in relief that he was able to convince his mother. His mother always had high expectation for him because Taeyong already set the standard very high. But he wasn’t Taeyong and would never be Taeyong. No matter what he did, even if he gave his best,  it was never enough. His mother would always compare him to Taeyong. ‘Your brother did better’ or  ‘Ah Taeyong can do this too, of course you can!’. He was sure even if he saved someone from burning building, his mother would just say something like ‘Taeyong would have helped to extinguish the fire too!’.

Jealous, he was jealous of his brother because he got better treatment. His mother favored Taeyong better while his father didn’t even want to look at him. Sometime he just wanted to leave this house and lived by himself but he was not an ungrateful son. He still wanted to make his parents proud of himself, as Ten. He didn’t want to live as his brother’s shadow. That was why he would always work and study hard, just to prove that he could also make them proud.

There was a knock and a second later the door swung open. Ten expected to see his mother, ready to nag him to study but he was surprised when he saw it was Taeyong standing at his door. The older stepped inside and closed the door.

“Uh… what do you want?”

It was quite awkward because Ten rarely talked to his brother unless it was necessary, like telling him dinner was ready or things like where was the TV remote. The last time they talked like brothers was probably when they were kids. They used to play together but it was really long time ago that Ten couldn’t remember anymore.

“What will you do on Friday? There is no Science Club in your school and there is no such rule about first year has to join a club. I was the president of student council, remember? You can lie to Mom but not to me.”

Like a deer caught in headlight, Ten stiffened.

“They formed it this year. It’s new rule.” He looked around, trying to avoid his brother’s eyes.

“Really? I should ask the senior then if you really say the truth.” Taeyong was pulling out his phone from his pocket.

“No!” Ten almost shouted in panic. “No Science Club. I lied to Mom.”

Taeyong blinked then slowly placed his phone back into his pocket. He folded his arms in displeasure. It seemed like he didn’t like the fact that Ten lied.

“Then where are you going? Why do you need to lie?”

“It’s not your business. Leave me alone, Hyung.”

Today wasn’t a good day for Ten and he was in bad mood since afternoon. Now his brother suddenly wanted to know about his life.

“Since when you talk back to me?”

“Since when you bother to talk to me?”

There was long awkward silence after Ten said that. A flash of hurt crossed Taeyong’s face but Ten didn’t feel guilty at all. It was true; they never talked about personal stuff. He never wanted to know about what his brother did so his older brother had no right to ask about him. Why suddenly he wanted to know? So he could report him to their mother and got praise? He suddenly felt sick thinking about that. He never hated his brother but he also didn’t like him either. Their relationship was never bad yet never good so he wished that Taeyong would mind his own business and leave him alone.

“Okay then. I won’t tell Mom.” Taeyong opened the door to leave. “Sorry, I just want to know.”

The door closed and Ten sighed. Maybe his words were too harsh but the little voice inside his head told him that his brother deserved it. He walked towards his bed and dropped his body against the soft mattress.

_Friday, please come faster._

** >><< **

 

Friday finally came. Ten kept glancing at the clock on the wall, wishing the time moved faster. He endured the past days because he knew that he had something to look forward on Friday. His mother at the end decided to move the English course to Wednesday and he didn’t complain at all. He didn’t have club to join or friends to hang out so he was kind of free. All he did at home was studying (when his mother was around) and drawing (when his mother wasn’t around). Taeyong stopped bothering him and being civil around him. His relationship with his classmates also got better, still no close friends but some of them remembered his name and greeted him in the morning. He would always greet them back shyly with a stutter. At least there was a progress. The real obstacle in his life right now was the person who sat next to his table. A tall handsome boy with brown hair who thought that annoying Ten was a fun thing to do. Yukhei didn’t stop calling his names like nerdy, midget or freaky. He tried to not pay attention and ignore him but sometime the boy would go over the line by poking or pinching him which made him furious. Too bad furious Ten wasn’t as scary as it sounded because all he did was glare and told him to stop with a hiss. It seemed like Yukhei enjoyed his reaction so he didn’t stop.

The last period bell rang and he excitedly gathered his things into his bag. With a light step, he walked towards his locker to take out his sketchbook. He was ready to meet Johnny and thinking about him really made him feeling giddy. He closed his locker and jumped out of shock when Yukhei was standing beside him with folded arms. His face wasn’t too happy.

“What?” Ten mumbled after he recovered from the shock

“I can’t go to park with you because I have something to do.”

This was good news for Ten because no Yukhei meant no disturbance and he could spend his time alone with Johnny. It wasn’t like Yukhei was obligated to join them so he didn’t understand why he had to follow along when Ten wanted to meet with his older brother. As far as he knew Yukhei didn’t have interest in art. He only had interest in annoying him.

“Oh. Okay.”

“That’s it? Aren’t you going to ask why I can’t go?” Yukhei narrowed his eyes. “You sound happy.”

Ten raised an eyebrow. Why should he ask him? It wasn’t his business and yes, he actually kind of happy that Yukhei couldn’t join, more alone time with Johnny anyway.

“Uh.. why you can’t go?” He decided to amuse him instead of argue back. He wanted to go to the park as quick as possible.

“It’s not your business but if you want to know, I can tell you.”

“It’s okay I don’t need uh.. to know.” Ten gripped his bag’s strap, ready to leave.

“I am going to have photoshoot as clothing model. You know.. for a popular brand.” Yukhei explained even though Ten said he didn’t need to know.

“That’s… good?”

“Yes, but then I have to wait until Monday to annoy you again.” He sighed with a pout.

Feeling annoyed, Ten glared at Yukhei who pretended to look sad. He decided to leave instead of listening another insult or taunt from him. He didn’t want his mood to get ruined, not before meeting Johnny. Friday was his happy day. He was glad that Yukhei didn’t follow him and he rushed towards the station.

The park was quite crowded today, maybe because the weather was nice. He finally spotted the familiar figure with white sweater. Johnny was busy with his sketchbook and he looked serious when he was drawing. He looked ten thousand handsomer when he was drawing. Ten approached him with a huge smile on his face.

“Hyung.”

Johnny looked up and smiled at him. He glanced around expecting to see someone behind Ten but when he didn’t find any, he shifted his confused gaze at him.

“You are alone? I thought Yukhei would join us again?”

“Oh no. He said he has something to do.”

The handsome man nodded his head then motioned Ten to sit. As usual Ten would tell Johnny about what he drew and what he just learned. He also told Johnny that he had been saving for a new coloring pencil set. Ten went to the bookstore on weekend before and found beautiful set of coloring pencil set but it was quite expensive. He knew the price was worth the quality since he watched the review on youtube.

“Oh right, can I ask for your number on line contact?” Johnny suddenly asked which made Ten happy. He had wanted to ask him before but too shy to do it.

“Sure, Hyung!”

They exchanged phone number and line id. Johnny told him that he found a really good object to draw at the park near his house and he wanted to show him to Ten. He promised to send him a picture later. The meeting was fun as usual and Ten was glad there was no disturbance. That was until…

“Ten?”

He turned around when he heard a familiar face and froze on the spot when he saw Taeyong was standing with wide eyes in front of him. His eyes shifted at Johnny and the sketchbook on the table then back to Ten.

“What are you doing here? Is this ‘The Science Club’?”  Taeyong asked with a frown on his face.

Too flustered to answer, Ten could only stutter to find any explanation. He glanced at Johnny who watched the scene curiously. He wanted to lie but he sucked at lying and Taeyong would know it in heartbeat. Ten got up from his seat and dragged Taeyong away from the spot. They needed to talk without Johnny listening.

“Hyung.” Ten finally spoke after  they stood behind a tree near Johnny’s table. “Hyung, I am sorry I lied. He-I.. He is my drawing.. uh.. teacher. I go to park every Friday to have drawing lesson with him.”

Taeyong eyed his brother suspiciously. He went to the park to meet his professor before and was about to go home but he saw his little brother was sitting with a stranger.

“He is your drawing teacher? Where did you meet him? Why do you have to lie to Mom?”

“Yes. I met him like two months ago. He’s art student in Seoul Art University and a really nice person. I… I lied because…” Ten took a deep breath. “If I told Mom the truth, do you think she will allow me to draw and meet him?”

There was a short pause and Taeyong stared at his younger brother with unreadable expression. Ten was waiting in anxiety. If his brother told their mother then for sure he would say goodbye to Johnny and drawing. Both were the source of his happiness and if his mother took them away from him, he didn’t think he could survive his dull and strict life.

“Okay. I won’t tell Mom. But I don’t want you to hang out with stranger. You are still a minor, Ten!  I will come with you every Friday. No more argument.”

Ten nodded without thinking. He didn’t mind at all as long as his brother didn’t tell his mother. Taeyong looked really serious and he didn’t dare to argue either. Any option was better than facing his angry mother, especially if it was Taeyong who reported him. His mother might throw another hurtful word to him.

“Okay Hyung. And uh… Johnny didn’t know anything about.. whole lying situation. It was fully my fault so… don’t be rude to him. Okay?”

His brother nodded and then both of them walked back towards Johnny’s table. The man with black hair looked concerned and confused at the same time. Ten sat on his chair with Taeyong beside him.

“Hyung, this is my older brother, Taeyong. Sorry for…uh.. the overreaction. I never told him about our meeting.”

“Hi, I am Taeyong. Ten’s older brother.” Taeyong raised his hand for a handshake.

Johnny smiled and shook Taeyong’s hand.

“I am Johnny.”

They shook hands and when Taeyong released his hand, Johnny looked a bit disappointed. His eyes lingered at Taeyong a bit longer than necessary and it made Ten’s stomach churned in anxiety. There was unpleasant feeling but he tried to shake it off.

“My brother never tells me his interest of drawing so I am just a bit surprised to know. Thank you for teaching him. Sorry if he keeps bothering you.”

“It’s okay. Ten has a talent in drawing and it’s an honor to me to teach talented kids. He told me that he wants to apply in Seoul Art later so I don’t mind helping my future junior.”

Taeyong glanced at Ten who was fidgeting in his seat like scared child.

“Ah I see. Good to know. You are Seoul Art student? I am from main campus and majoring in medical study.”

“Oh really? I am second year of Drawing major and I never go to main campus.”

The conversation between Johnny and Taeyong were flowing easily as if they were old friends. Maybe it was because both of them were outgoing people. They even started to talk about things that Ten didn’t understand like university stuff. He felt out of place all and the gap between him and Johnny suddenly became very wide. The unpleasant feeling was emerging again, this time stronger than before, maybe because he was still afraid of his brother going to report him to his mother? Maybe because he couldn’t understand the topic that they had been talking?

Or.. maybe because the way Johnny stared at Taeyong?

 

 

** >>To Be Continued<< **

 

 

 

 


	4. The Jealousy

They went home in silent. Taeyong didn’t say anything else neither did Ten. They both agreed to keep the meeting as secret to their mother. His older brother said that Johnny was actually nice person so he trusted him. Ten tried to shake off the unpleasant feeling from his mind. He noticed how fast Taeyong and Johnny became close in one meeting. They even exchanged line id, for university stuff they said but he knew better that there was something else going on between them. He could see how Johnny stared at Taeyong and how his brother’s body language towards him. It seemed like both of them were attracted with each other. Or maybe he was just over thinking. Maybe it was because they were same age friends so they got along easily.

Once Ten reached his room, he dropped his bag and plopped down on his bed. Today wasn’t as fun as he expected because Taeyong’s appearance. He didn’t feel like eating and decided to skip the dinner. He would bet his life that his mother wouldn’t even notice his absence. It didn’t matter if he didn’t eat for a whole month as long as he was studying. Ten still didn’t understand why his mother was so obsessed with studying. She never forced Taeyong to study, if his brother refused then she would stop asking but when it came to him, there was no mercy. There was so much pressure for a sixteen years old. His mother didn’t even care if he had friends or not. Thinking about his mother’s treatment made him feel depressed so he decided to take shower to fresh his mind.

_BEEP!_

Ten glanced at his phone. Who sent him message? He didn’t have close friends to exchange messages, usually it was from Line Game—telling him to download new game—so he immediately checked his screen phone.

_Johnny Suh added you as friend._

**Hi, Ten!**

**This is a view from my house. The moon looks beautiful right?**

**Don’t you think its good object to draw?**

Almost dropping his phone out of excitement, Ten typed the reply in the speed of light. Johnny just sent him a message with a picture of moon. It was indeed good object to draw but right now he didn’t care about drawing. Johnny just sent him a message!!!

**Hi, Hyung!**

**That’s beautiful. You should try drawing it because I would love to see it on paper.**

Ten sent it with shaky hands. His heart was beating very fast as he reread Johnny’s chat. He was acting like a fool in love. Five minutes had passed and he didn’t get reply yet but it showed that Johnny already read his chat. He checked if he said anythibg wrong but after reading his reply several times, it was fine. Or maybe Johnny wasn’t happy that Ten told him to draw it? Was he being rude? He rolled on his bed anxiously. Ten never had a casual chat with people through chatting app before so he didn’t know if someone wasn’t replying instantly meant good or not. He was about to sent apology to Johnny but he got new notification.

**In fact, I already did. Still in coloring process.**

**Hehehe.**

**I will show you tomorrow.**

**Anyway your brother told me that you are skipping dinner.**

**It’s not good for a growing teenager like you to skip meal.**

Ten’s smile faded as he read two last sentences from Johnny. First he just found out that his brother and his crush were already chatting with each other because he knew about him skipping dinner. Second, Johnny mentioned that he was a teenager which basically showing him the big age gap between them. Maybe the reason Johnny took a time to reply because he was chatting with his brother. The unpleasant feeling was back again and he felt gloomy all of sudden. He got up from the bed and walked towards the bathroom, leaving his phone on the bed.

Maybe a warm shower could remove the negative thought from his head.

 

** >><<  **

Yukhei scrolled his phone lazily. Even when he was with his best friend right now, he still felt bored. He glanced at his friend, Mark who was busy pressing the game console in his hands. Sunday was his lazy day and usually he would play console game with Mark to ease his boredom but he wasn’t in the mood today. He had been thinking about a certain boy with black hair. This was the first time in his life that he wanted Monday to come faster. Yukhei was itching to annoy the boy that seated beside him in class, the same boy who always gave funny reaction from his teasing. The way he glared and pouted his lips were also funny that he couldn’t help to mess around with him. He smiled thinking about what he would do tomorrow.

“Why are you smiling to yourself like that?”

Mark’s voice startled Yukhei. He didn’t realize that his best friend wasn’t playing with his PSP anymore and stared at him weirdly. Did he just smile to himself?

“Nothing, I just think about someone from school. This fellow is really funny person.”

“Your crush?”

“What?! No! It’s my classmate. He’s always fun to tease and his reaction is the best. I can’t wait for Monday.”

“You like him.” Mark said it as statement, not a question. He had been friends with Yukhei since a kid and he knew his best friend better than himself.

“Stop the bullshit. I don’t like him. I just enjoy teasing him! Anyway he is very ugly so I definitely don’t like him.”

Mark was wondering how ugly the boy was. Did he have thick unibrow? Did his nose off center or something? He wanted to see how he looked before he could judge. He was sure that Yukhei liked this poor soul because seriously, even though his best friend was blessed with handsome face he was completely newbie in relationship. Yukhei never had any girlfriend nor boyfriend. Well, he didn’t even have many friends except him who he considered as best friend for life.

“Now I am hungry. Let’s eat lunch outside. I want seafood!”

Before Mark could imagine any ugly face, Yukhei dragged him out of the room. His parents were out of town for business while his older brother was probably hanging out with his friends. He needed to get outside to clear his mind off from Ten. He still didn’t understand why he couldn’t stop thinking about him. No, he didn’t like him. He was sure of it. The boy was ugly and he was handsome so there was no possibility of them together. But suddenly he remembered Ten’s expression when he was drawing. It was full of passion and somehow he looked a little bit cute. Just a little bit.

Both of them were strolling around Hongdae as they tried to find good restaurant to eat. Yukhei wanted to eat seafood while Mark wanted to eat meat so they had to find restaurant who provided those foods. They passed a bookstore and from the corner of Yukhei’s eye, he caught familiar figure of thin boy with black hair. He stopped his track abruptly when he spotted Ten was talking to a good looking man with dark hair. It seemed like they had argument but ended already since the man ruffled his hair and left the bookstore. Ten was roaming between the shelves alone. Without thinking, Yukhei rushed inside the bookstore to greet him. He tiptoed his way towards Ten who had his back on him and when he was close enough, he covered Ten’s eyes with his hands.

“Guess who?”

A pair of hands covered Ten’s eyes and the first thing that popped in his mind was elbowing the person. There was a groan and he immediately turned around to check on the attacker and was surprised when he saw Yukhei crouched on the ground as he clutched on his stomach.

“Yukhei! What are you doing?!”

“Damn, why did you have to elbow me so hard. It hurts.” Yukhei groaned in pain. His intention was to surprise Ten but he was the one who got a surprise (elbow) instead.

“I am sorry! You scared me and it was a reflex!” Ten bent down to check on him.

The brown haired boy looked up and was flustered when he saw Ten’s face was pretty close to him. His heart was suddenly beating so fast and he could feel heat creeping up his cheeks. Oh no, he wasn’t blushing, was he? In other hand, Ten was panic at Yukhei who now clutched his own chest. He was sure that he elbowed him on the stomach, not his chest. How if he had heart problem? What he was going to say to Johnny if he accidentally killed his younger brother?!

“Yukhei? Are you okay?”

“I am okay.” Yukhei immediately stood up and scratched his cheeks to stop the blush. “It’s just you have strong elbow. Anyway, what are you doing here?”

Ten sighed in relief when Yukhei was back to his usual annoying self.

“I am going to buy a new sketchbook.”

“Alone? Who is the man that talked to you before?” Yukhei tried to sound as casual as possible.

“Oh you saw us? He is my older brother.”

Yukhei was suddenly feeling happier than before. So it was his brother.

“Really? You don’t look like him. He is too handsome to be your brother. You don’t lie, right?”

As usual, he got a glare from the shorter boy. Oh how he missed to see that glare, wait what? He shook his head furiously, earning a weird stare from Ten. Some customers in bookstore were also staring at them.

“Excuse me.”

A familiar voice snapped him back to reality. He turned around and saw Mark was standing with folded arms and a raised eyebrow. He actually forgot that he went out with his best friend and his original intention was to eat.

“Oh my god, Mark! I am sorry I left without telling you!” Yukhei rushed to hug him, begging for forgiveness.

“I can’t believe you left me alone. Imagine when I turned around, I didn’t see your face and I have been talking to myself for about ten minutes. No wonder people were staring at me.”

“Sowryyyyyyyy”

Mark tried to shake Yukhei off and when he shifted his gaze, he saw a thin boy with black hair who stared at them with curious face. Their eyes met and the boy panicked, immediately picking up a book near him and pretending to read it. Mark furrowed his eyebrows at the fail action since the book he held was upside down.

“Is that your crush?” Mark whispered.

Yukhei straightened himself and glanced at Ten who was busy reading the upside down book. He raised an eyebrow at the sight and glanced back at Mark. He liked Ten? What a nonsense! He just liked to tease him, nothing else!

“No! I don’t like him. You see that I, the handsome Yukhei will never get attracted to ugly creature!”

But clearly Ten was far from ugly. At least he didn’t have thick unibrow and his nose wasn’t off center. He stared at Yukhei who was now kept glancing at Ten, seeming like to make sure that he was still there. Mark rolled his eyes. Yukhei was like elementary student who enjoyed to bully the person he liked but and didn’t want to admit that he liked the person while the attitude screamed obvious.

“I don’t think he is ugly though.” Mark craned his neck to the side to see Ten—since Yukhei decided to block his view—to see the boy better. “In fact, he is quite cute. I mean look at him, trying to avoid eye contact with me by reading the upside down book. Can you introduce him to me?”

“No.” Yukhei answered without missing a beat. “He is boring person. You won’t like him.”

There was a jealousy in Yukhei’s voice and Mark tried to make his expression as blank as possible. It was hilarious to see his best friend acted like he didn’t care but he actually tried to keep him away from his crush. He glanced at Ten and suddenly felt a pity because he had to deal with Yukhei.

“Now I have unfinished business with him. You can go find restaurant first, I don’t mind with anything. Text me if you already find one.” Yukhei said in one breath and forcefully pushed Mark out of the bookstore.

Mark cringed at Yukhei’s childish action but decided to leave anyway. He would let Yukhei had his time with his crush. He just wished that his best friend could realize his feeling before things were too late.

In other hand, Ten wasn’t sure to stay until Yukhei finished talking with his friend or just wandered around the bookstore to get his sketchbook. He also wanted to find an eraser with good quality. Yukhei had wasted his time and he should get his things before Taeyong went back. He told his mother that he wanted to buy a new book (he didn’t actually lie, it was a sketchbook). At first she didn’t let him go but then Taeyong said he also wanted to go to bookstore. They ended up going together. When they reached the bookstore, Taeyong said that he didn’t need to buy anything and would go to CD store across the street to check on new CDs. Ten complained that he didn’t need Taeyong’s help to get their mother’s permission earlier but his brother just ruffled his hair and walked away.

“So… “ Yukhei said as he approached Ten.

Ten put down the book and faced Yukhei who was standing in front of him. It felt weird to see him in casual clothes and not uniform. And somehow his attitude was less mean too, maybe because they weren’t in school?

“Where are we going now, nerdy?”

Or not. He was still being an annoying brat.

“We? I will go by myself. I thought you approached me because you needed something but you definitely not. You already wasted my time, so… bye.”

That was the longest sentences Ten ever said to Yukhei and he was kind of proud that he didn’t stutter or speak timidly. He turned around and walked towards the drawing supply section without looking back. Ten didn’t want to deal with Yukhei today when he only had limited time. He got his sketchbook in his hand already, it was thicker than before. Now he needed to buy new eraser but the problem was he didn’t really know which one had good quality. His previous eraser was cheap and always ruined his sketch because it didn’t erase the line cleanly. He wanted to ask the shopkeeper but it seemed like they were assisting other customers.

“Maybe I should ask Johnny Hyung.” Ten mumbled.

“Ask what?”

Ten almost dropped his sketchbook when deep voice spoke so close to his ear. He turned around and sighed when he saw Yukhei was standing behind him, his eyes were scanning at the boxes of erasers in front of them.

“I thought you left already.”

“Why do I have to leave? This is public place.”

He had no time to argue so he pulled out his phone from his pocket and sent a chat to Johnny, asking which eraser had good quality. He wasn’t aware that Yukhei was looking over his shoulder.

“You asked Johnny Hyung?” Ten turned around in shock and accidentally bumped his forehead against Yukhei’s jaw. He whimpered when he felt a sting on his forehead. “Wait, you have Johnny Hyung on your Line contact? I don’t even know yours!”

“You don’t need it.”

“Of course I do, we are classmates! Friends! Friends should have each other’s contact!”

Feeling irritated, Ten just randomly picked any eraser. He didn’t care anymore about the good quality because he just wanted to get away from Yukhei. What nonsense to say that they were friends. The brown haired boy never treated him like friend and kept annoying him at school. He should be glad that Ten was blessed with great patience or else he would just punch him in the face.

He walked towards the cashier with Yukhei followed behind him, still asking about phone number. The people in the bookstore were staring at them and Ten could feel a blush formed on his cheeks. Why did Yukhei always manage to embarrass him!

“Come on. If you don’t want to give me your number—then how about Line id?” Yukhei insisted even after they walked out of the bookstore.

“For what? We meet almost every day at school.”

“For…” Yukhei furrowed his eyebrows, seeming like thinking about the reason. “So I can send Line game invitation to you to get extra coins.”

If Ten didn’t remember that Yukhei was Johnny’s beloved brother, he would have bashed his head with the sketchbook.

 

** >><<  **

The sky was already dark when Ten reached home. He was really tired and planned to sleep as soon as he entered his room. He mumbled about skipping dinner to his mother but she didn’t say anything. He didn’t know if she didn’t hear him or just didn’t care. Once he was in his room, he dropped his body on the soft mattress and closed his eyes. He didn’t bother to change his clothes because he was too sleepy to move. Within seconds he fell into dreamland.

It felt like only a minute ago he closed his eyes when he was rudely awakened by loud sound of his ringing phone. He blindly moved his hands around to get his phone and grumpily picked up the call.

“Hello.”

There was no reply from the other side.

“Hello, whozdiz?” Ten slurred sleepily.

Still no reply from the caller. Ten checked his phone screen and the call were still connected. The number was also unknown and he suspected that this was just a prank call.

“If this is a prank call, I am hanging up.”

“Wait! Wait I am here! Hello?”

Finally the caller spoke up. The deep voice somehow sounded familiar but Ten couldn’t remember who. His brain couldn’t function properly in his sleepy state.

“Who is this?” Ten yawned and glanced at the clock on the wall. One in the morning. Who the hell called at this hour?

“I-the most handsome person in the world. Can you guess who?”

He didn’t have time for this shit. He was so tired and needed to get back to sleep or he would be sleepy at class later.

“I am hanging up.”

“Wait! Nerdy wait!”

That switched the memory button on and Ten groaned in annoyance when he realized who the person on the other end. He was torn between hanging the call up or just listening to him.

“How did you get my number,  Yukhei?!”

“I asked Hyung.” He could hear the amused tone in Yukhei’s voice.

“Okay. Goodnight.”

With that, Ten hung the phone up. He didn’t want to entertain Yukhei any longer. It was too early to listen to his nonsense. They had school in the morning and that brat just had to call him at wee hour like this. He was about to close his eyes again when his phone beeped. A new line notification popped up on his screen.

**Yukhei added you as friend.**

This brat was really something else. Ten decided to ignore it and closed his eyes. It only lasted for five seconds before his phone beeped several times. Someone just sent him bunch of chats and it blew his notifications up. His left eye twitched in annoyance. What again?!

He unlocked his phone screen and opened the chat.

**Yah! Why did you hang up the phone?**

**Hey, don’t ignore me.**

**Yah**

**Yah**

**Are you sleeping already?**

Those were the things he saw as he opened the chatroom. He thought Yukhei couldn’t get any more annoying but he was so wrong. Before he could reply the brown haired boy with his piece of mind, the phone beeped again.

**Don’t only read my chat.**

That was the last straw before Ten opened his phone case and took out the battery. He really needed a good sleep right now because later in the morning he had school to attend, and in school he also had to face this annoying person who kept disturbing his peaceful time. He needed extra energy to deal with Yukhei.

 

** >><<  **

As expected Ten had black circles below his eyes when he woke up in the morning. He didn’t sleep that well last night thanks to certain brat with brown hair who disturbed his sleep. He went to school with sleepy face and he kept yawning as he walked towards his class. He stepped inside the class and some students said ‘Morning’ to him. He shyly replied them and went to his seat. Glancing at the seat beside him and it was still empty. Usually Yukhei would arrive earlier than him but not today and he knew perfectly the reason why the brown haired boy wasn’t here yet. If he had hard time to wake up this morning because last night disturbance then he was sure Yukhei experienced the same. To ease the sleepiness, Ten took out his drawing tools from his bag. Maybe drawing could help to pump up his energy.

The classroom door slid open and a tall boy with messy brown hair walked in as he covered his mouth to hide the yawn. Ten looked up and threw a glare at him. Yukhei didn’t miss the glare and he immediately approached him.

“Why didn’t you reply my chat last night?”

“I was sleeping.” Ten replied shortly as he flipped open the sketchbook to start drawing.

“Well, I was waiting for you to reply. You only read my chat.”

Yukhei was standing in front of his seat as he looked down at him with a scowl on his face. Ten was confused why Yukhei was acting like this. He sounded… angry? But it was his fault to disturb his sleep. He didn’t want to sacrifice his sleep just to entertain Yukhei.

“Sorry then.”

He decided to apologize instead arguing with Yukhei. He wasn’t that sleepy again and now he wanted to continue his sketch since he had no time to draw at home. His mother sometime barged into his room without knocking just to check if he was studying or just being lazy.

“Is that a sketch of Johnny Hyung?”

Ten got startled when he heard Yukhei’s voice was very close to him. He looked up and surprised when he saw the tall boy was bending down to check on his sketchbook. He immediately covered the sketch with his hands. Yes, it was a sketch of Johnny. He had been practicing to draw a sketch of person and he wanted to start it with the person he liked the most.

“Why did you have to cover it?”Yukhei paused. “Wait, don’t tell me that you have a crush on Hyung?”

“I-I don’t!” Ten was blushing madly. He avoided Yukhei’s eyes and closed his sketchbook instantly.

Yukhei clenched his jaw. He felt like his heart was being squeezed after he saw Ten’s reaction. It was so obvious that the boy liked his older brother. He wasn’t happy to hear this news. It felt like someone just lit a fire inside his chest. What was this burning feeling that made him seeing red….

“Ah you like my Hyung. Let me tell you, you don’t stand any chance. My brother has a high standard and you are just a kid in his eyes. Besides, are you really confident to like my Hyung with your look? If you are as good looking as your brother then it’s okay to be confident but-“

Yukhei stopped abruptly when he noticed that Ten was glaring at him. No, it wasn’t usual weak glare that he always gave to him. There was a hint of anger and hurt inside those black eyes. It seemed like he just crossed the line. He also didn’t know why he had to say mean things to Ten. When he found out that Ten liked his brother, he was just so angry. His emotion worked faster than his brain so he ended up saying those hurtful words.

“I am aware of that. Thank you for reminding me.” Yukhei flinched when he heard how cold Ten’s tone was.

Their math teacher stepped into the class and the students rushed back to their seat, including Yukhei. The guilty feeling started creeping inside him when he saw Ten’s hand was shaking as he took out the school notes from his bag. What he said before was really mean and he was aware about his fault. During the lesson, Ten never spared him a glance. He treated him as if he didn’t exist.

Now he knew what the burning feeling inside him was before. It was jealousy


	5. The Surprise

Everyone always compared ten to his perfect older brother. Why did they have to compare him? Why he couldn’t be himself instead? He would never be Taeyong no matter what because he was Ten. Why he should be like his brother? He only wanted to be himself, not his older brother. It was tiring to hear people comparing him to his brother. He had been living as Taeyong’s shadow for almost sixteen years.

He flipped his sketchbook open and smiled a little when he saw his sketch of Johnny’s face. He planned to confess his love when he finished the drawing. He might not be able to say the words but maybe through his drawing, he could convey his feeling to the older man. Thinking about Johnny made him feeling better. The man with gentle smile was the reason he felt like he wasn’t just another waste of space. Before he met him, he always thought he had no future because he only followed what his mother wanted and became Taeyong’s shadow. But Johnny changed his perspective of life.

_Beep!_

There was a new notification from his phone and Ten thought it was from Johnny. He rushed to check his phone and his smile faded when he saw the name of the person who just sent him a message. He had been avoiding him for two days but this person was really persistent, or maybe just shameless.

**Hey!**

**What are you doing? Must be drawing?**

Ten ignored the chat and placed his phone on table. He wanted to take shower then continue his drawing of Johnny. He was about to walk away when his phone rang. This time he got a phone call, not merely random chat from the annoying person. He stared at the phone, thinking if he should pick the call up or just ignore it. After a while, he decided to pick up the call.

“What?”

 _“No Hello?”_ The deep voice from the other side mumbled with childish tone.

“What do you want?”

_“Why are you so grumpy?”_

That tickled Ten’s temper. He didn’t want to deal with Yukhei so he hung up the call and turned off his phone. His words still echoed in his mind and he couldn’t help to feel hurt by his words. What he said before was really mean. Since when liking someone was exclusive to good looking people? He couldn’t lie that those mean words that Yukhei said really shot down his courage to confess to Johnny. But then he managed to convince himself that Johnny wasn’t an asshole like Yukhei. So whatever the outcome, he would be fine… hopefully.

 

** >><<  **

 

Yukhei stared at his phone screen for a full minute with disbelief expression. The call was already disconnected a minute ago. When he realized that Ten really hung up the phone, he slumped over the table with sulky face. The black haired man had been avoiding him since two days ago, right after he accidentally said the mean things to him. He knew that it was his fault to say those mean words but his pride was just too big to apologize to Ten. Instead of apologize; he ended up acting like his usual annoying self. He expected Ten would glare or snap at him like usual but he was wrong. Ten gave him silent treatment and acted like he didn’t exist. He didn’t say anything when Yukhei teased him. He didn’t even react when Yukhei poked or nudged him. He didn’t even glance when Yukhei purposely annoyed him. If he could choose, he preferred to get a slap or glare instead of being ignored by Ten. He felt miserable and he thought maybe it was because he lost the source of his entertainment but oddly he felt… empty, like he didn’t know the purpose of his life. All because of Ten who ignored him.

“What’s with the sulky expression?”

Mark looked up from his PSP when he heard a sigh escaped from his best friend. They were now at a café near his school. Usually they didn’t hang out during weekdays but Yukhei called before that he was bored and wanted to meet up. Now that he was here to accompany him, his best friend was sulking after he made a phone call.

“He hung up the phone.” Yukhei muttered with sad face. “He also ignored me for two days.”

“Who?”

“Ten. I can’t believe that he managed to ignore my existence.”

“Who is Ten?” Mark raised an eyebrow. “Oh, is he your crush from the bookstore before?”

“He’s not my crush! I don’t like him.”

Rolling his eyes in annoyance, Mark placed the PSP in his hands on the table. He rested his back against the seat and folded his arms; eyes were inspecting Yukhei’s action. His best friend just whined like a kid who didn’t get the toy he wanted.

“Stop being in denial, Yukhei. Seriously, it is so obvious that you like him. Or judging by your reaction, your feeling for him might be deeper than you realize.”

“Really? How are you so sure that I have a feeling for him?”

That was indeed dumb question especially when it came from a good looking boy like Yukhei. No one would believe Mark when he said that Yukhei never had any girlfriend or boyfriend before. It was simply because the brown haired man never knew the feeling of falling in love. He had zero interest in relationship. It was always people who pursued his love, not the other way around. That was why Mark wasn’t surprised if Yukhei didn’t know if he actually fell for someone.

“You can’t stop thinking and talking about him. You always want to meet him. You always want to stay beside him.” Mark paused and remembered his last encounter with Yukhei and his crush. “And you get jealous easily.”

“Maybe.. maybe I do like him?” Yukhei asked with innocent wide eyes that Mark had to hold himself to snort mockingly. “But how if he likes another person? Like.. my brother…”

“He likes Johnny Hyung?” Mark raised an eyebrow. “Well, your Hyung is likeable though unlike you. Who doesn’t like him anyway?”

The brown haired man narrowed his eyes. His pride got hurt when Mark compared him to his older brother. Of course he wasn’t like Johnny. He was Yukhei, not Johnny! Then it hit him very hard. So this was the feeling of being compared. He realized how hurtful his words before to Ten. Beside he said the words in meanest way to him. The guilt started creeping inside him. Wow, he was such an asshole. He should apologize to Ten.

“I am doomed.” Yukhei mumbled as he rubbed his face roughly.

“Take action before it’s too late, dude. Or you will regret it forever.”

** >><<  **

 

Friday was finally here again and Ten was excited to meet Johnny after school. His mood was always good when he started thinking about the meet up. He woke up earlier than usual this morning and ended up arrived at school faster than usual. Not many students around so he decided to sit on the bench near the soccer field. He liked the view from the bench since he could see the mini flower garden clearly. The colorful flowers were a beautiful sight. He was enjoying the wind when someone plopped down beside him. He turned his head to see the person and raised his eyebrows in surprise when he saw Yukhei. Not wanting to deal with him, Ten got up from the bench and about to walk away when a strong grip on his wrist stopped him.

“Please stay. I want to talk.”

That surprised him to the point he forgot that he wanted to walk away from Yukhei. He just stood there with confused face but the brown haired man released his grip and motioned him to sit again. Ten hesitantly sat back on the bench. He was actually scared that Yukhei would pull another prank on him but he looked serious that he didn’t dare to refuse his request. Silence took over and no one talked. It was awkward and Ten kept fidgeting nervously. What did Yukhei want?

“I am sorry.”

He looked up and stared at Yukhei with wide eyes. Did he hear it correctly? Did Yukhei, _the_ Yukhei just apologize? This felt so strange that Ten couldn’t help to think if this person beside him wasn’t the Yukhei he knew.

“What?”

“I am sorry.” Yukhei cleared his throat and Ten noticed the pink hue bloomed on the brown haired boy’s cheeks. “I mean I am sorry for saying those mean words to you. Sorry, Ten.”

That was another surprise for Ten. Yukhei just said his name. After all this time, he finally called him with his name. Not a nerdy, freaky or ugly. He just stared owlishly at Yukhei, expecting him to suddenly screamed ‘It’s a prank!’ or ‘Ha! You got fooled’.

“W-will you say something? Don’t just stare at me!” Yukhei snapped at Ten but it sounded more like whine, especially with the blush on his cheeks.

“Oh, I am sorry. I am just too shocked.”

“I know right. I am shocked too.” Yukhei mumbled.

It was hard for Yukhei to stay calm when Ten was staring at him like that. It made him feeling shy and nervous. Mark was right. He clearly had special feeling for Ten and he couldn’t deny it anymore. His hands were itching to squish those slightly chubby cheeks but he didn’t want to scare him, not when he just apologized.

“Okay, I forgive you.”

Nervous Yukhei was indeed a funny sight for Ten. He found that the brown haired man was kind of cute when he tried to apologize. He decided to forgive him since Yukhei sounded sincere. He was never able to stay angry with people longer though. And he couldn’t help to admit that Yukhei’s effort to apologize kind of touched his heart. It might be hard to do it since he knew the brown haired man had a big ego.

“Really?” Yukhei’s expression lit up in happiness.

“Yeah, why not? It’s good to hear you calling me with my name.”

There was genuine smile on Ten’s face and Yukhei could feel that his heart started beating so fast. He could hear his own heart beating so loud and he was honestly afraid that the man beside him was able to hear it. He thought that a glare and a pout from Ten was cute enough but if he knew that smiling Ten was this beautiful then he would stop teasing him forever just to see his smile again.

They walked towards the class together in silent. Ten was being his usual shy awkward self who wasn’t able to open conversation while Yukhei was just trying to keep his sanity at the best level and find a way to stop his heart for beating so fast. He might die if this kept going. They didn’t talk at all even until school hour ended.

“Are you going to meet up with Johnny Hyung?” Yukhei scratched his neck, trying to sound as casual as possible.

They were now in front of Ten’s locker and the black haired man just took out his sketchbook from his locker. Yukhei waited for the answer patiently as Ten zipped his bag.

“Yes. Do you want to tag along?”

It felt like Christmas was coming sooner than he expected when he heard Ten’s offer. Did it mean that Ten wanted him to be there too? He was really happy that it was hard for him to manage his facial expression. He held himself to not grin like a mad person but he ended up smirking.

“You won’t say anything stupid to Johnny Hyung, right?” Ten eyed his suspiciously after he saw the smirk appeared on Yukhei’s face. He didn’t mind if Yukhei wanted to join. It wasn’t like he would be alone with Johnny since Taeyong would join them too later. Maybe with Yukhei’s presence, he would feel like he had friend when the older men talked about things he didn’t understand like university stuff.

“I won’t.” Yukhei frowned a little. He forgot that Ten had a crush on his brother. More reason for him to tag along since he wouldn’t let his crush to be left alone with his older brother.

“Good, come on.”

This time Yukhei wasn’t as quiet as before. He started talking about random things like he enjoyed a cup of hot chocolate during summer or he liked dogs instead of cats. He also said that the type he liked was someone with black hair and  pretty eyes. Ten was confused why Yukhei talked about those things but he decided to listen in silent.

They reached the park and Ten walked towards the usual spot with excited step. Yukhei grumpily followed behind him and he didn’t know why the boy was suddenly being like that. He slowed down when he saw Johnny was already there but he wasn’t alone. Taeyong was sitting across him and it seemed like both of them were talking about something funny since he could hear Johnny’s laughter from this distance.

“Isn’t that your brother?”

Ten was startled when Yukhei whispered into his ear. He turned his head slightly only to see Yukhei’s face was very close with his own.

“Why are you so close?” Ten drew away in flash. He could feel his cheeks heated up. “Yeah, that’s my brother.”

Yukhei didn’t ask anymore and instead focused at the pink hue that bloomed on the black haired man’s cheeks. He was satisfied that he could make Ten blush like that. He put his arm around Ten’s shoulder and dragged him towards his older brother.

“Hyung~!”

Both Taeyong and Johnny turned their attention at Yukhei who dragged the struggling Ten. Once he saw Ten’s older brother closer. He noticed that they kind of resemble each other. Both have sharp eyes and small but high nose. Maybe if Ten was styled better, they would be more look alike.

“Oh, Yukhei! You are coming too.” Johnny smiled widely and turned his head at Taeyong. “Taeyong-ah, this is Yukhei my younger brother. He is in same class with Ten!”

“Hello, I am Yukhei.” The brown haired boy bowed. Ten was finally able to release himself from Yukhei’s grip. He threw a glare at the taller which he replied with a grin.

Taeyong stared at Yukhei for a while and shifted his gaze at Ten then back to Yukhei again.

“Oh, I am Taeyong. Thank you for taking care of my brother at school.”

“Who take care-“

“You’re welcome, Hyung.” Yukhei said before Ten managed to finish his words.

“Okay, now let’s sit and draw, shall we?”

Johnny beamed at and Ten immediately took the seat across Johnny, right beside Taeyong. The atmosphere was lively because Yukhei kept talking about silly things which made everyone laugh. Even Ten couldn’t hold his smile. He thought that maybe Yukhei’s presence wasn’t that bad after all.

“Your drawing improved a lot, Ten.”

Ten smiled happily when Johnny praised him. He was about to thank him when he felt something heavy landed on his foot. He looked to the ground and frowned when a black sneaker was pressed on the top of his. Yukhei just purposely stepped on his foot.

“Why did you step on my foot?” He frowned at Yukhei.

“Oh it was your foot? I thought it was wild mushroom. So I tried to demolish it with my foot.”

“Stop disturbing Ten, Yukhei. You better learn to draw straight line. Your line is too gay to get straight.” Johnny grinned in teasing manner.

“Shut up Hyung!”

“Yah! Don’t be impolite brat!”

The brothers started bickering and Ten was too busy laughing at Johnny who now locked his arm around Yukhei’s neck that he didn’t realize that Taeyong had been watching him with a knowing smile on his face.

** >><<  **

Two months had passed by. Some things were staying the same, like Ten’s mother still nagged him to study, like he still met up with Johnny every Friday with his brother and Yukhei as addition, like he still enjoyed drawing. But there were also changes in these past two month. His relationship with Taeyong was better. They weren’t that awkward around each other and sometime he greeted his older first. That was a progress for both of them, compared to the old days when they didn’t talk to each other unless necessary. He admitted that he liked the change.

Not only had the relationship with Taeyong that changed, his relationship with Yukhei also made a progress. Yukhei stopped calling him names and being nicer to him, even though sometime he still teased and annoyed him but those were all harmless since at the end of the day the brown haired man always managed to make him smile. Yukhei also became awfully clingy and touchy. At first, Ten was really uncomfortable but Yukhei insisted that it was what best friends usually did. Since Ten didn’t have close friends before, he didn’t know if Yukhei said the truth or not but he slowly got used with his skinship even though sometime the action made him blushed in embarrassment.

“Finally it’s finished.”

Ten smiled at the finished drawing on his sketchbook. It was the drawing of Johnny’s face. It took him very long to finish it since he always got distracted by homework and his mother. Tomorrow he would meet Johnny as usual at the park and he planned to show the drawing as confession. Maybe he could ask him to come earlier for meet up?

“What just finished?”

“My drawing of Johnny Hyung.” Ten turned his head to the side and smiled at Yukhei.

They were now in class and their biology teacher was absent due personal matter so the students were granted with free-class period. Some of the students went to cafeteria while the others stayed in class to sleep or talk with each other. Ten decided to finish his drawing while Yukhei was drinking his chocolate milk.

“Oh.”

One thing that Ten always noticed, Yukhei always became grumpy and moody when he mentioned Johnny. He didn’t know why, maybe the brothers had a fight and hadn’t solved their problem yet thus Yukhei wasn’t happy when he heard Johnny’s name?

“You really like my brother, don’t you?”

The tone was casual but Ten could sense a bitterness in his voice. Why though?

“Yeah, why? Are you jealous?”

He was really surprised when Yukhei choked and spat his chocolate milk, dirtying his uniform in seconds. The brown haired man coughed several times and Ten immediately rushed to his side to pat his back. Some students were staring at them with amused expression but then they went back to their previous activities.

“Yukhei!! Are you okay?”

“I am okay. I just didn’t expect you to say bold things like that.” Yukhei stepped back a little, trying to hide his blushing cheeks. Ten’s words really surprised him because that was exactly what he felt when he mentioned Johnny. For a moment, he thought Ten knew about his feeling.

“I was just joking! I am sorry!”

Yukhei snorted and pinched Ten on the cheek, earning a painful whimper from the shorter. Ten’s obliviousness was driving him crazy. He had been showing more affection and skinship but the boy never caught his intention. Maybe he should try another bold way?

His thought was interrupted when Ten’s phone beeped. The shorter man smacked his hand away from his cheek and he pulled out the phone from his pocket. He unlocked the phone and read the new message. The frown on Ten’s face made him curious.

“Why are you frowning?”

Ten looked up with a confused face.

“Johnny Hyung said to meet him at the café near the park today. He said he has good news to tell. Why can’t he tell me on the chat?”

That also made Yukhei curious. What kind of good news that his older brother really wanted to tell that he couldn’t wait until they meet tomorrow? Clearly the news was quite important since he didn’t want to tell it through message either.

“What kind of news? Hmmm….”

Honestly, Ten was feeling nervous and excited at the same time. This was the first time Johnny asked to meet up with him beside on Friday. So what kind of good news for him? Should he show the drawing today? Maybe he should see the situation first?

The day was moving very slow and Ten kept glancing at the clock on the wall. He couldn’t wait until the school hour was over. The anticipation was distracting him from the lesson that he didn’t even know what his teacher had been talking about. When the last period bell rang, Ten immediately gathered his stuff into his bag. In other side, Yukhei was watching every movement with a scowl on his face. Why was Ten so excited to meet his older brother?

“Can I go with you?”

“Huh?” Ten looked at Yukhei as he got up from his seat. Should Yukhei go with him? He expected to have alone time with Johnny but when he saw a kicked puppy look on his face, he couldn’t help to nod.

They walked out of school together and Yukhei strangely looked much happier than before. Johnny told him to meet at small café near the park. His heart started beating faster as he walked closer to his destination. Once they reached café, they stepped inside and scanned around to find Johnny. Ten couldn’t help to smile when he spotted the familiar tall figure at the table near the window. He approached him and about to greet him when he spotted another familiar figure beside Johnny.

“Taeyong Hyung?” Ten said quite loud which made both men turn around.

“Oh! You’re here! Yukhei also came too?” Johnny waved at his younger brother and Yukhei waved back lazily. “Sit, sit.. I have good news.”

Yukhei and Ten sat across their brothers. Ten’s eyes darted between Johnny and Taeyong who looked happy and the unpleasant feeling was back again. This time it was really strong and he could feel that his stomach churned sickly.

“So… I just need to tell you this good news.” Johnny reached Taeyong’s hand on the table and joined their hands. “I and your brother, Taeyong are together now.”

 

 


	6. The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning : a very slight non-con element as background story

It felt like someone just hit Ten’s chest with a brick because suddenly it was very hard to breath. It was painful, his chest, _his heart_. His fist clenched under the table as he was trying to hold himself from screaming. He should have known that he had no chance with Johnny. He should have not hoped too much. What did he expect anyway? He already knew that there was something between his brother and Johnny yet he tried to brush off the thought several times. Ignorance and denial weren’t good things indeed.

Ten tried to keep his expression neutral. Johnny and Taeyong looked very happy and he didn’t have heart to ruin their happines just because his unrequited love. He should accept it even if his heart was shattered into pieces.

“ _Oh…_ Congratulation!” Ten flinched a little at his own voice because it sounded really fake but he was glad that the couple didn’t notice it.

“I was too excited and we didn’t want to hide this from you. Thank you for introducing me to Taeyong.” Johnny said with a smile. He looked like a fool in love as he glanced lovingly at Taeyong.

Honestly, Yukhei was shocked with the news. His brother was dating Ten’s brother. He didn’t see this coming at all. At first he felt happy because it meant there would be no obstacle anymore to get Ten’s attention but then he saw how the other clenched his fist until it turned white under the table and the happiness vanished instantly. He was surprised when Ten calmly congratulated the couple with cheery voice. He could sense how heartbroken the black haired man was and he was really close to pull him into a hug to whisper that everything would be okay.

“So… to celebrate this. We are going to eat dinner together. Join us, it’s my treat!” Johnny showed his happy smile.

“Uh.. but…”

“Don’t worry. I told Mom that you are going with me. She is okay as long as you are with me.” Taeyong said before Ten rejected the offer.

“But…” Ten’s eyes darted around the room, trying to find good excuse to escape. “Ah… I have history essay to finish since the deadline is tomorrow. Right, Yukhei?”

The brown haired man was flustered when Ten turned his head to stare at him with hopeful eyes. He knew that there was no history essay and was confused at first but then he realized that the other just wanted an excuse to not join the couple for dinner. He decided to play along.

“Yeah. Mrs. Jung said it’s as important as exam so we plan to go to the public library now. Sorry Hyung, I can’t join too.” Yukhei lied smoothly.

Johnny’s happy expression faltered.

“Ah too bad. Okay.. we are still going to meet tomorrow, right?”

Ten forced a smile and nodded. Johnny looked convinced with his excuse but he was aware that his brother was staring at him with a slight frown. He probably knew that he lied but he didn’t say anything. It was time to leave then because he didn’t want to see their interlaced fingers on the table any longer.

“Let’s go now, Yukhei?”

The chair’s legs screeched against the floor as Ten got up from his seat. He smiled a little at the couple and mumbled a goodbye before linked his arm with Yukhei to drag him outside. The brown haired man obediently followed him without a word. Once they were outside, he sighed in relief. It was really suffocating to stay in the same room with the happy couple.

“Are you okay?”

He forgot that Yukhei was also there. They were now walking aimlessly in the park. Ten was trying to clear his mind and accept the reality. This was the first time he experienced the feeling of falling in love and also heartbroken at the same time. He was okay or that what he tried to convince to himself. He would be okay.

“Yeah.”

Yukhei didn’t believe him. He clearly saw how Ten clenched his fist under the table and that fake cheery voice when congratulated them was very disturbing. He knew that Ten was heartbroken right now. If Yukhei was in his position, he probably would throw a tantrum. Imagining about Johnny announced that he and Ten were dating in front of his face… he would try to break their relationship. So it was quite scary to see how calm Ten was to accept all of this.

“You are not okay.”

“I am.” Ten grinned but it looked very fake.

SMACK!

Ten staggered after Yukhei slapped him across the face so hard. It left a stinging pain on his cheek and he could feel how the skin was burning. Too shocked to give reaction, he just stood there with hand on his slapped cheek. Did… Yukhei.. really.. slap him?

“What..” Ten finally recovered from the shock, he tried to string a proper sentence but it was hard since he was too angry and confused at the same time. “What are you doing?!!!”

The taller only stared at him with blank expression without saying anything and it made Ten even angrier. His cheek felt so hot right now and he was sure that it was red.

“It. Damn. Hurts. Asshole!” Ten smacked Yukhei’s chest as he said each word.

“It hurts?” Yukhei asked calmly, ignoring the latter who was still hitting his chest in anger.

“Yeah. It  really hurts. It! Hurts!”

Tears were falling from Ten’s eyes and Yukhei’s face softened at the sight. He knew well that it wasn’t really the slap that made him cry. It wasn’t his cheek that hurt. It was his heart. Ten already stopped hitting his chest and just stood there with head hung low.

“See, you are not okay.”

He got no reply and only heard the sound of sniffle. Ten was crying in silent. Hesitantly, Yukhei raised his hand and patted Ten’s back awkwardly. Originally he wanted to pull him into a hug but he was too coward to try so he ended up patting his back.

“Sorry. I must look pathetic now.” Ten looked up with puffy eyes. His nose was a bit red because the crying.

“I am not going to judge you. I understand, really.”

“Thank you…”

They both fell in comfortable silence. Both of them just stood there, side by side without saying anything. The park was a bit crowded today and everyone seemed like busy with their own activities. Ten was feeling shy because Yukhei was being really nice to him. He wasn’t used with kind Yukhei so he didn’t know what to say after the other managed to comfort him. He bit his lip and took a deep breath, finally found courage to talk.

“Yukhei…”

“Yes?”

“My cheek _does_ hurt.”

>><< 

“I am home.”

Ten decided to go home since he didn’t want to be a bother to Yukhei. The other kept insisting that he would accompany him when he said that he wanted to stay at the park longer. It was quite strange how Yukhei acting around him. He was just being too nice that it made Ten felt shy. Probably he took a pity of his broken heart state. After all, the one who made him like this was Yukhei’s older brother. He might feel guilty especially after the mean words he said long time ago became real. Johnny chose his older brother instead.

“You’re home? Where is Taeyongie? I thought you went out with him.”

His mother approached him with confused face as Ten placed the shoes in the shelf.

“I didn’t go with him.”

He was about to go upstairs to his room when his mother talked again.

“I want to talk.” She sounded serious. “I saw the coloring pencils and sketchbook in your drawer. Why do you have those useless things?”

“You went into my room without my permission!” Ten wasn’t happy to hear this. Didn’t his mother know about privacy? It was okay if she barged inside his room when he was also _in_ the room, but he was not okay when he was _not in_ the room.

“This is my house. I can do anything here including check on your stuff. Now answer my question, why do you have those things? I told you to stop drawing long time ago.”

The atmosphere became tense. Ten took a deep breath to control his anger.

“Because I like drawing. I want to go to  Art school after I graduate.”

Finally he told his mother about his wish to do art. He wished he could say this in better situation, not like now when they were arguing. He wanted to tell his mother about his passion in drawing. He wanted her to understand.

“Nonsense. I want you to be a lawyer. Drawing won’t bring you anywhere, Ten! Why don’t you listen to me like your brother?!” She raised her voice.

This was too much. His mood in worst state right now and his mother constantly rubbed the fact that Taeyong was better. He knew that Taeyong was her perfect son but did his mother ever see him as her son too? All she had been saying in these past years was study, study and study. Why did she treat him like a robot without feeling? Why did his mother always compare him to Taeyong? Why did his mother always force him to do things he didn’t want to do?

“I don’t want to!” His jaw clenched in anger. “Stop comparing me with Taeyong Hyung! Why are you always comparing me to him? Why?!”

“Don’t you dare shout at me!”

“No. You can’t tell me what to do anymore! I am tired! Why are you treating me like this?! WHY?”

“BECAUSE YOU ARE UNWANTED CHILD!”

What? What did his mother mean that he was unwanted child?

“What do-“

He froze when his mother suddenly started breathing heavily and seconds later she fell down onto the floor. He rushed to her side to check on her. It seemed like his mother had problem with breathing and he was so scared that he didn’t know what to do. His face went pale when his mother closed her eyes and he was about to pick her up when the front door swung open.

“I am- WHAT HAPPENED?”

It was his father, standing at the door with wide eyes. He just got back from his business trip and he looked surprised to see the sigh that greeted him.

“M-mom.. Mom fainted. I-I shouted at her.. I…I…” Ten stuttered.

Without saying anything, his father lifted his mother up in bridal position and brought her to their shared bedroom. Ten followed behind him anxiously. When he wanted to step inside the room, his father stopped him and told him to wait outside.

“Is she okay?”

He asked once his father came out from the room. He was still wearing his work suit and looked really tired. Ten was feeling guilty right now. If only he didn’t shout at his mother like that, maybe she would be okay and his father could rest.

“Yes, she is sleeping now. You shouldn’t push her to her limit like this.”

“I am sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t know. I am… “ Ten paused. “Dad.. Mom said I am unwanted child.”

The middle aged man stiffened at the words but immediately looked away to avoid Ten’s eyes. He cleared his throat and muttered something about going to buy medicine for his mother.

“Dad… please tell me what did she mean?”

He followed his father until the front door. The man turned deaf at his son’s plea and opened the door to go outside but Ten wanted an answer. He wanted to know about what his mother meant about him as unwanted child.

“Dad! Stop avoiding me! Is it not enough that you’ve been avoiding me for sixteen years?!”

His father looked taken aback at the outburst. For a moment, Ten thought his father would leave and ignore him but instead he closed the door and turned around to face him. He looked defeated.

“I am sorry, Ten. This is all my fault.”

Now Ten was confused. Why all of sudden his father apologized and said it was his own fault?

“Yo-your fault?”

“After your brother was born, we both agree to not have another child because your mother was in the peak of her career as top lawyer back then. She was handling very important case but… one night I went home drunk.. things happened out of my control and then three weeks later she got pregnant.”

Ten was speechless. He didn’t know about his mother was a lawyer before. He never knew about this since she never talked about her past to him. Well, she never talked about anything personal either. They just… never talked like a family. Maybe it was because she never wanted him since the beginning.

  
“She lost the case and became depressed. She was blaming me for ruining her career. She wanted to have abortion at first but then your brother said he wanted a little brother. Your mother couldn’t refuse his request thus she decided to keep the child inside her which was you.  It was tough time for all of us.”

“Then…” Ten took a deep breath. “You guys still don’t want me now, do you?”

“I…” His father looked away. “Your mother is strict to you because you always remind her of the failure she experienced back then. You shouldn’t push her into her limit. It’s stressing her out.”

“How is that my fault?!” Ten screamed as tears prickled in the corner of his eyes. “No matter how hard I work, she will never be satisfied. Because I AM THE CAUSE OF HER FAILURE.”

“Ten… I..”

“You don’t even want to talk to me like a father. Why? Because I remind you of your mistake? It was easy to put blame on me, right? Because I am the unwanted child!”

The front door swung open and Taeyong stepped inside. He looked confused as he closed the door.

“Dad? Ten? What are you guys doing here? What’s with the screaming?”

The concerned tone in Taeyong’s voice made Ten sick. He shifted his gaze at his father who palmed his face in shame. Ten didn’t belong here. He didn’t belong in this house. He was the unwanted child. No matter how hard he tried, his parents would never love him like they loved Taeyong., simply because they never wanted him. They even planned to kill him before he was born.

“I am tired.”

Ten turned around and ran towards his room upstairs. Today was really too much for him. From Johnny to his parents. His brother managed to have all the love he wanted. He flopped his body down the mattress and stared at the ceiling.

_I don’t belong here_

He got up from his bed and grabbed his bag. He shoved some clothes and his drawing tools inside his bag. If they didn’t want him then he would leave. He wouldn’t be a burden to them anymore. It was better like this.

The sky was getting darker after he finished to get everything he needed inside his bag. He didn’t know where he should go but he would think about it later. He wore his jacket and slung his bag onto his shoulder. Opening the door carefully, he peeked outside to see the situation and the house was really quiet. He scanned around then walked towards the front door when he spotted no one.

“Where are you going?”

Ten stiffened then turned around. He saw his older brother was standing with folded arms and frowned as his eyes spotted the bag. He decided to ignore him and put on his shoes, ready to leave the house. He thought everyone was already sleeping since it was really quiet. Usually his parent went to sleep early and Taeyong was busy with his assignment inside his room.

“Answer me, Ten. Where are you going?”

“Leave. Because I don’t belong here.”

“What do you mean?”

A sigh escaped Ten’s lips. He got up after he finished wearing his shoes. He turned around to face Taeyong. He never hated his brother, in fact Ten was secretly proud to have smart and handsome brother like Taeyong. Ten admired Taeyong. Maybe with him leaving the house, he wouldn’t have to be his shadow or the second choice again.

“I never belong to this family. Mom and Dad never wanted me so I will just leave now.”

He was about to open the door when Taeyong gripped on his wrist to stop him.

“You can’t leave, not when I am still your older brother. I still _want_ you.”

“Hyung…” Ten closed his eyes. He was emotionally exhausted and Taeyong really didn’t help him right now. He just wanted to leave quietly. “You got everything I want. Mom, Dad, Johnny Hyung…. Please don’t take away my freedom too.”

Taeyong was trying to process his brother’s words when realization hit him. His eyes widened in horror and unconsciously he released the grip around Ten’s wrist. His mouth hung open.

“You… don’t tell me you like… you like Johnny?”

Ten only smiled as answer and Taeyong looked devastated like he realized that he just made a huge mistake.

“I thought… I thought you liked Yukhei! I don’t know that you have feeling for Johnny.. I swear!”

“Yukhei?” Ten frowned. “He is only my friend.”

“It’s because you always look lively and bright around him. And the way he stares at you is-“

“Hyung… I love Johnny Hyung. But he loves you and you love him. I can’t change anything so please cherish him. Goodbye.”

He opened the door and stepped outside without looking back. This time Taeyong didn’t stop him and he was grateful that his brother let him go. Now that he was outside, he didn’t know where to go. The first thing that popped inside his head was going to the public park. He took the subway and reached the park within ten minutes. He stopped in front of the convenience store, the place where he and Johnny started everything. Ah, thinking about him only made his heart ache. He should move on quickly.

The wind made him shiver in cold but he still didn’t know where to go. He didn’t have enough money to rent a room in hotel. He ended up sitting on the bench near the fountain. Not many people at the park since the weather was quite cold and windy so they probably chose to stay inside the building instead of strolling around the park. He looked at the ground and thought about everything that just happened. His happiness was gone in one day, just like that. It wasn’t like he was happy at first but he used to have expectation about his future. Now he didn’t have money, house, family and someone to love anymore. He should just kiss a goodbye to his chance to enroll at art school since he didn’t plan to continue his highschool… at least with his parents’ money. Maybe he would find a job, but he wasn’t sure what kind job he could get when he was a homeless sixteen years old.

The sound of footstep getting closer and someone panting caught his attention. He looked up and startled when he saw Yukhei was standing in front him. He was wearing a pikachu pajama under the beige coat. His fluffy brown hair was messy and he looked like he just ran a marathon.

“Y-Yukhei?”

“What are you doing here?!” He snapped after he caught his breath.

Wasn’t that supposed Ten’s question? How did Yukhei find him? So many questions in his head but maybe it was better to answer the brown haired boy first since he looked so angry. Some passerby already glanced at their side, seeming like curious at the scene Yukhei made.

“Uh Yukhei, please sit first. You look out tired.”

“Of course! I was running around to find you!” Yukhei said with annoyed tone as he sat beside him. ”Your brother called Johnny Hyung and said you ran away from home. I happened to hear the conversation so I rushed to look for you. You are wandering outside in this cold weather at this hour. What time is it? Almost Eleven! It is dangerous and you are a sixteen years old!”

Ten cringed at the long nagging. Yukhei sounded like an angry mother and he managed to say everything without taking a breath.

“You’re also sixteen years old. Don’t nag me like you are older.” Ten pouted.

The other only sighed and they just sat there in silence. The cold wind brushed against their skin and Ten shivered a little. He wanted to ask many things but too hard to find proper words to open conversation. He didn’t know what to say either since he didn’t expect Yukhei to show up.

“Why did you run away from home?” Yukhei finally spoke after the long silence. He didn’t look at Ten, only staring at the fountain in front of them with blank expression.

“I am not running away. I just left. I don’t belong there.”

“Why?”

“They don’t want me. I am unwanted child. It feels like wherever I go, I am unwanted.” Ten laughed bitterly. “I wish I was Taeyong Hyung. He always got everything I want. Love from parents, love from friends, love from… Johnny Hyung.”

Yukhei didn’t say anything and only listened. It encouraged him to speak more. He wanted to pour all the bottled feelings inside him. He was glad that the brown haired boy didn’t interrupt him since he really needed someone to hear his mind right now.

“Maybe I am just another waste of space. I am really useless and pathetic.”

“Do you really think of yourself that low?” Yukhei decided to speak up.

Yes. He always had low self esteem since he got compared with his perfect brother often. Now that he thought about it again, his mother contributed a lot at bringing down his self esteem. He never had much confidence in anything because he knew no matter how hard he tried; his brother would always do better.

“You are useless? Bullshit.” Yukhei cleared his throat. “You know… you are good at drawing.”

“Ah yeah…. That’s right. My life was monotone before, like black and white until Johnny Hyung came to put colors in my life. He brought back my passion to draw and I was grateful for that. But now, I think it’s back to black and white.”

“Why do you need someone to color your life? It’s your life. Color it by yourself.”

It felt like a cold bucket of water splashed into his face. It was his life… yes, not his mother’s, not Taeyong’s not anyone. It was _his_ life. He was the one who decided whether he wanted to color it or keep it in black and white. He didn’t need Johnny or anyone to color his life. Again, it was _his_ life. It was that simple. The realization was overwhelming that he choked a sob then broke down in tears within seconds. It was the second time today that he cried because of Yukhei. This boy managed to unlock the emotion inside him.

“Crying again? I am glad that I don’t need to slap you this time.”

Both of them laughed and suddenly the night didn’t feel too cold anymore. His heart felt warm right now. After Ten stopped crying, they fell in silent again. They suddenly became awkward with each other’s presence. Ten was embarrassed that Yukhei had to witness him crying again. In other hand, Yukhei was having mental battle inside his head. He wanted to tell Ten about his feeling but he thought that this wasn’t the right time.

“Yukhei…” A small shy smile formed on Ten’s face. “Thank you.”

Mesmerized at the sight of pink hue that bloomed on Ten’s cheeks, Yukhei blinked several times to bring back his sanity. The urge to pull him into a hug was too strong and his fingers were already twitching. Maybe he should just tell him now before it was too late, just like when Ten didn’t have any chance to confess to his brother. Anything could happen in any second and he didn’t want to live in regret.

“Uh.. T-T-Ten.” Yukhei hated himself for stuttering and gulped nervously when Ten looked at him with his teary curious eyes. God was really testing him; he looked truly adorable right now that he wanted just to hug him.

“I think…No.. I am sure. I am sure that I fell in love with you.”

 

 

 


	7. The Confession

Did he hear it right? Yukhei just said that he fell in love with him? Was this another joke or prank to mess with him? So many questions in Ten’s head and he was sure that Yukhei was just fooling around as usual but he was confused when he saw how red Yukhei’s face was red, even to the tip of his ears. So… he really meant it?

“What?”

“Don’t make me repeat the words. I am already embarrassed!” Yukhei looked away, still with red face.

This felt so ridiculous to Ten. He had been through so much today and now Yukhei just confessed to him, in his Pikachu pajama if he could add. It was like he was riding a roller coaster of emotion,but then he remembered Taeyong’s words before he left the house.

_“It’s because you always look lively and bright around him. And the way he stares at you is-“_

The way Yukhei stared at him what? Was it very obvious that Taeyong could see it? And did he really look lively and bright when he was around him? He didn’t know since he himself was oblivious about this stuff. Ten was sure that it happened because of Johnny but now that he thought about it again, he mostly laughed because of Yukhei’s stupid antics. He didn’t talk much when he was with Johnny because he was too shy but when he was around the brown haired man, the words just flew out naturally from his mouth. This couldn’t be happening. The one he loved was Johnny!

“Uh… I don’t know what to say.” Ten blushed. He had never gotten any confession in his sixteen years life and he didn’t know how to respond to it either. Anyway, he was convinced that he loved Johnny, not Yukhei. So now he had no idea about what he should say.

“For your information, I don’t accept apology or rejection.”

Ten would laugh if only Yukhei didn’t look very serious. The taller was still red in the face but there was a determination in his voice. Didn’t it mean he had to love him back? But he didn’t have feelings for Yukhei, did he?

“B-but.. I like your brother?” That was supposed to be a statement but he ended up saying it as question. How dumb.

“Yeah and he is already with your brother. Now you want to wait until they break up or what?”

He wished that Yukhei would just slap him with his hand instead of with this reality. It sounded harsh but that was also the truth. He should move on but didn’t mean that he had to accept Yukhei’s love confession!

“I-I know.” He paused and tried to not fidget under Yukhei’s intense stare. “But I don’t have feeling for you. We are just friends.”

“Then I just have to make you fall for me.”

Yukhei sounded very confident with his words and Ten didn’t know if he should admire his determination or just punch him in the face. That was really easy to say but people couldn’t fall for someone that easily right? Beside he still loved Johnny!

The night was getting late and it started to get windy. Ten shivered a little when a wind blew to his direction. He was only wearing his jacket and he wished he brought his coat instead. He rubbed his palms to feel warmer.

“Let’s just talk about it later.” Yukhei noticed how Ten shivered. “Let’s go back to your house. Your brother is very worried.”

“No!” Ten gripped Yukhei’s wrist, stopping him from getting up. “I don’t want to go back home. I will just stay here.”

“Are you crazy? It’s too dangerous to stay here at this hour! How if you meet bad people?! Beside it’s getting windy!”

“I don’t care! I won’t go back. Not now! It’s only been two hours since I ran away. If I go back now it’s embarrassing!” Ten whined.

Yukhei sighed. He didn’t know what happened between Ten and his family but he wouldn’t let him stay here alone at this hour. The park might be a bit crowded since some citizens liked to take a stroll at night but not all citizens were good people. He glanced at Ten who folded his arms with a frown on his face. He looked like a sulking child and Yukhei had this urge to pinch his slightly chubby cheek.

“Okay then. Let’s go back to my house.”

“Don’t want! There is Johnny Hyung there.”

The brown haired man groaned in annoyance.

“Then I will stay here with you.”

“No! Just go home Yukhei. I am okay.” Ten glared at him.

“You?! Okay?! ! Want me to slap you again?!”

Ten immediately covered his face in horror. Even if Yukhei’s intention was nice when he slapped him before, it still hurt as hell. He thought his skin was on fire and he had to use three ice packs that Yukhei bought to ease the stinging pain.

“Just leave, Yukhei!” Ten’s shout was muffled by the hands that covered his face.

Several passersby glanced at their direction but they didn’t really care. They probably thought it was just a love quarrel between young couple. Or that was what Yukhei thought. He didn’t want to draw attention and if Ten kept shouting like this people might think he just harassed him. There was no way that he would leave the other here but he didn’t want to stay here either since it was windy. His Pikachu pajama also didn’t help to boost his confidence so he just wanted to leave as soon as possible.

“Wait…” Yukhei mumbled, suddenly an idea popped on his mind. “I think I know where we should go.”

** >><<  **

Mark knew that Yukhei was really an unexpected person but he for sure didn’t expect his best friend ringing the door bell of his apartment at this hour in his Pikachu pajama. In addition, he brought someone familiar beside him which he believed as Ten, his best friend’s crush. He just stood at his apartment’s door with confused face, trying to figure out what was going on but Yukhei mentioned something about staying here for a night before he stepped inside with his crush who looked confused as well.

“Mrk! Can I stay the night with Ten, here?”

Of course it wasn’t a big deal for Mark to let Yukhei stay the night. He had been living alone for two years since his sister moved out to live with her boyfriend. His parents were about 325 kilometers away in Busan so the apartment was just for him. But… why did he have to bring Ten? Did something happen?

“What’s going on?” Mark couldn’t help to ask. He needed explanation about why Yukhei showed up at his apartment’s door at this hour with his crush (he didn’t want to ask about the Pikachu pajama).

“We ran away.”

Ten smacked Yukhei’s shoulder when Mark gasped in shock.

“What happened? Run away? Did your parents oppose your relationship with Ten? Is this some Romeo and Juliet shit?”

“Dude!”

Both of them blushed at the words and Mark really wanted to tease them but he needed explanation.

“Okay, it’s just a long story. Ten got personal problem with his family and need a place to stay. I can’t bring him to my house since there is Johnny Hyung that Ten likes, also my Hyung is dating Ten’s older brother.”

“What?” Mark frowned in confusion.

“Uh…” Ten decided to speak up after he saw Mark looked even more confused. He pushed Yukhei to the side with a glare. “I-I am sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you at this hour. I will just leave.”

“Eh.. wait! It’s okay! Really, I don’t mind. You can sleep in my sister’s room.”

“Is it… is it really okay? I mean.. uh..”

“Yo! No worries. You don’t have to tell me about everything.” He flashed a friendly smile. “By the way, I am Mark!”

That made Ten relax and he shyly smiled at Mark. He was dragged by Yukhei without knowing that actually they were going to his apartment. He didn’t know Mark personally but the boy was really nice. He honestly felt bad to he had to drag the boy into the mess.

“That used to be my sister’s room but she moved out so you can sleep there. If you need to use bathroom, there is one inside.” Mark pointed the direction of the room.

“Thank you.”

He walked towards the room hesitantly and glancing back at Mark as if he was asking for permission. The other just nodded and said that he could sleep there.

“Can I use the bathroom too?” Ten asked timidly.

“Of course.”

Yukhei watched as Ten stepped inside the room and he turned his head to face Mark.

“Now where am I going to sleep?”

“Wait, you are staying too?” Mark raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Of course! I can’t let him stay alone with you. It’s not safe.”

Mark snorted.

“It’s even more dangerous if you stay because you are the one who desires him.”

Yukhei was blushing and Mark grinned mischievously. He would have the time of his life to tease his best friend. But for now, he wanted to know some things. Not every day his best friend knocked at his door and brought his crush along with him at this late hour.

“Dude, I hope whatever you do is legal and you aren’t really kidnapping him.”

“Stop the non sense! It’s just a problem between him and his family. I can’t help much but he needs a place to stay for a night now. I thought about your apartment.” He paused as his face turned serious. “Thank you, Mark.”

“Hey, I am your friend and he is your boyfriend so I am happy that I can help.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Yukhei huffed but his face was red again. Why was he blushing so much today?!

“He is not?”

“ Not yet. I confessed to him just before we went here but I he said he only saw me as friend. Oh, this is embarrassing.”

He groaned and rubbed his face in annoyance. Thinking about the confession earlier was really bad. Now that he was here, he became aware about his Pikachu pajama and his messy hair. It was embarrassing and he just had to confess when Ten had a lot of problem already on his plate. He was really insensitive bastard, wasn’t he?

“Ey… he is your first love, isn’t he? Don’t give up easily.” Mark nudged his friend playfully.

Of course Yukhei refused to give up but he wished that he could confess in better situation. This was the first time he fell in love and honestly he was still clueless about how to make Ten love him back. Besides, the boy was still heartbroken over Johnny Hyung… speaking of his brother..

“Oh shit! I forgot to tell Hyung!” Yukhei smacked his own forehead. He went out to search for Ten after he overheard Johnny’s phone call with Taeyong. He didn’t even ask permission from his parents. “Ah, I didn’t bring my phone. Can I borrow your handphone to text Hyung?”

When Mark gave his phone, Ten came out from the room. He already changed into oversized shirt and sweat pants, making him looked cuddly.

“Can I really sleep in this room?” Ten was trying to make sure if it was okay to sleep in here.

“Why? You can’t sleep alone? Do you want me to sleep with you?” Yukhei asked with hopeful tone in his voice.

Before Ten could say anything. Mark pulled the back of Yukhei’s collar and dragged him into his room. He wasn’t going to let his best friend to sleep with Ten. They were still teenagers with exploding hormones and he didn’t trust Yukhei to stay in the same room with his crush. Mark turned his head at Ten who looked at him owlishly, ignoring Yukhei’s protest.

“Yes, you can sleep there. Good night, Ten!”

 

** >><<  **

Ten closed the door with a sigh. Today was really a tiring day, physically and mentally. He was lucky that he had place to stay for a night. He would go back home tomorrow. Yes, he didn’t want to run away. He would talk first his parents and voiced his mind. Like Yukhei said before, it was his life. If he was tired with the monotone black and white then he should put the colors. First step was talking with his parents then maybe his brother.

He might be an unwanted child but his parents still raised him until he was here. He didn’t want to be ungrateful son and deep down inside his heart, he wanted to make his mother proud of him. He wanted to prove her that he wasn’t a failure, he wasn’t a mistake, he was just Ten.. her son.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Ten took out the sketchbook from his bag. He flipped it open and smile at the sketch of Johnny’s face. The sketch had finally fully finished but the intention behind it already changed. It was just another sketch that Ten made to improve his skill now, not a way to express his feeling towards the one he loved. Closed it with bitter smile, he laid his back on the mattress. His eyelids felt heavy and he didn’t remember anything after that.

He fell asleep while hugging the sketchbook.

** >><<  **

It felt like Ten just closed his eyes five minutes ago but he was awakened by the sound of glass clinking. He opened his eyes and tried to adjust his sight out of sleepiness. It was already morning judging by the bright sky through the window. He was confused at first since this room didn’t look like his room but then he remembered that he was staying at Mark’s apartment. He slowly got up from the bed and stretched his stiff neck before walked towards the door.

“Oh, you are awake? Morning!”

Ten was greeted by the sight of Mark in his school uniform. He was pouring milk into a bowl which he suspected was filled with cereal. The taller boy motioned Ten to join him for breakfast. He was a feeling a bit awkward at first but Mark’s friendly smile made him relax.

“I only have cereals and milk. Sorry, I can only cook cereal.”

If he didn’t remember that Mark provided a place for him for sleep last night, he would snort and said that pouring milk into a bowl of cereal wasn’t considered as cooking. He just realized that today was still a school day. It was Friday… his supposed to be favorite day because he would meet Johnny after school but now he just felt like it was a normal boring day. Speaking of school, he didn’t bring his uniform since he planned to stop going to school so he decided to leave now.

“Uh, I will pack my stuff first.”

“Huh? Where are you going?” Mark looked confused.

“You.. you are going to school and I should leave?”

Mark just laughed and waved his hand.

“No, it’s okay. You can stay here with Yukhei. He knows where I hide the key anyway so you don’t have to worry.”

“I will leave in the afternoon then if that’s okay.”

“Seriously you don’t have to worry. If you need a place to stay for another night, I don’t mind. I just want to help. Yukhei told me a bit about your situation. Don’t worry, Ten.”

If Angels were real then Ten would think Mark was one of them. He was the nicest person he ever met. They weren’t even friends but he was willing to help him.

“Thank you Mark. You are really nice person.” Ten smiled at him.

Mark got up from the chair, the bowl was already empty. He placed the bowl in the sink and grabbed his bag on the table.

“I think you should also thank Yukhei. He really cares about you and as his friend since he was a kid, I tell you that he never cares about anyone except himself. Well, he cares about me a little bit but when it comes to you, it’s another level.” He walked towards Ten and patted his shoulder. “My advice is… give him a chance before you decide. He is a nice guy, annoying but nice.”

With that Mark left the apartment. Ten was pondering over his words. He should have thanked Yukhei too last night. He got a place to stay for a night because he brought him here, his best friend’s place. He somehow forgot that Yukhei was the one who had been helping him yesterday. The brown haired boy was always there to give him mental support and suddenly he remembered the confession last night. His face was growing hot and he was sure that it was red now.

“Mark?

Ten was flustered when he heard Yukhei’s voice along with the footsteps approached closer to the kitchen. He wasn’t ready to meet the boy. He didn’t know what to say about the confession. In panicky state, he almost ran back towards his room and about to open the door but he was too late.

“Ten?”

He turned around to face Yukhei, hitting his back against the door in surprise. The taller was standing there in his Pikachu pajama and messy hair. He was rubbing his eyes sleepily and Ten thought he looked really cute just like innocent kid. Damn, what was he thinking? He knew that Yukhei was handsome but _now_ he noticed how handsome he was (also cute, if he could add). He kept telling himself that it was normal thinking for people with average face like him.

“Hi! Morning!”

“Did mark already leave for school?” Ten nodded, still staring at Yukhei who looked strangely cute in his eyes. “Oh, we don’t go to school, right?”

“Oh..y-yeah. I don’t.. I don’t.. uhm.. plan to go anyway.”

“Okay. Have you eaten? I think Mark only has cereal though.” Yukhei walked towards the kitchen as he scratched his head.

If ten could be honest, he wanted to say that Yukhei was really adorable. He was walking towards the kitchen like a penguin since he was still sleepy thus his step was a bit uncoordinated. Ten wanted to punch himself since he was thinking about things like these. Maybe it was because of Mark’s words about giving him a chance and now Ten started to look at him as the possible candidate of his future lover.

“Ten? Are you going to eat?”

He snapped back to reality and shifted his gaze at Yukhei who was pouring cereal into a bowl. He didn’t trust himself to speak, afraid that he would sound stupid so he just walked towards the table and sat across him. They ate breakfast in silent. Once.. twice.. Ten would glance up secretly to see Yukhei.

Actually, he still didn’t believe that Yukhei liked.. no.. _loved_ him. Just how… ? The brown haired boy was good looking and he knew well that he was popular among the students at their school. So the questions was How? Oh and also why? He tried to go flashback to his first meeting with Yukhei, grimacing a little when he remembered how rude he was. Then he started annoying him everyday… then suddenly they became friend? It was a blur but he remembered how Yukhei always tried to make him laugh. He always managed to put a smile on his face. He was really nice but the problem was Ten only saw him as friend, good one (but a bit annoying). Also it felt so wrong to like him since he was Johnny’s brother. Well, they didn’t really look alike and personality wise they were completely different but it was just weird to like his crush’s younger brother. It was like he jumped out of the boat to other nearby boat easily. Oh god, what was he? A manwhore? Wait… he wasn’t really dating Johnny so it was okay then to jump to other boat? No.. he didn’t jump out of the boat, he just changed his boat, right? Holy shit, this was getting ridiculous… why did he think about this? He really considered Yukhei, didn’t he?!

“Ten, your bowl is already empty. Do you want more cereal?”

Yukhei’s words brought Ten back from the ridiculous mental war inside his head and he looked down at his bowl. It was empty but he was unconsciously stirring his spoon, creating the loud clinking sound. When did he finish the cereal? This was embarrassing.

“Uh no, thanks.”

“Okay.” Yukhei picked up the bowls on the table and put them into the sink. “So, what are you going to do?”

“Huh? Oh… I don’t know..maybe  going back home later to talk with my parents.”

“I see… you will be okay?” Yukhei eyed with a concerned expression.

Ten told himself that the butterflies—no these felt more like bees—inside his stomach was just a figment of his imagination. His heart was still in normal pace which meant he really didn’t have feeling for this man in front of him. He only trusted his heart.

“Yes. As you say, it’s my life not theirs. I will talk to them first. Running away won’t solve anything.”

“You sound so mature for sixteen years old.” Yukhei chuckled but seconds later he cleared his throat and his face turned red. “So… I just want to tell you that I am serious about everything I said last night at the park. No need to answer it, just… uh… I am just telling you!”

Yukhei had been talking with Mark all night long about his feeling towards Ten. It was funny how love could change him to be a vulnerable fool. He was actually afraid of rejection but he pretended to be confident just comfort himself. He knew that Ten still loved his brother but he also knew that the latter didn’t have chance with Johnny. So… he had been trying to act gentleman and cool to get his attention but it was hard since he always had this urge to pull him into a hug and kiss him. Sigh, Mark was right.. he was the one who was dangerous because he desired Ten.

“Oh…” Ten blushed. He knew that sooner or later the topic would be brought up. “I can’t promise you anything, Yukhei.. Uhm.. but I am willing to give you a chance?”

Finally he said it. He said that he would give a chance for Yukhei. He couldn’t promise anything but maybe a chance to love him back wasn’t that bad. He could feel his face was burning because the embarrassment. He felt a little bit better when he saw Yukhei’s face was as red as his.

“Thank you, Ten.” Yukhei smiled, face still red.

That was the first time Ten saw Yukhei smiled genuinely like that. Usually it was just cocky smile, smirk or teasing grin. And now that genuine smile was directed to him. _Only_ for him. He clenched his fist and suddenly his heart started beating faster than usual. The more he stared at Yukhei’s smiling face, the faster his heart beating against his ribcages.

_Oh no…_


End file.
